Ever feel like you're being stalked?

Love the MILFs ...

I slept with a Little Leaguer's mom (she was single) the night before my cancerous left nut was chopped off, and then after the doctor told me I could start doing it again 2 weeks after the surgery. She wanted to be the last one to please me with both nuts, and the first one to do me with only one. Her son is a senior now. One of the schools I cover plays his team, so I see her once or twice a season. She's married now, but whenever I walk by the stands we look at each other and smile.

 

Who the fuck are you people?

 

That was not the direction I saw this post going when I started reading it.

 

Nor did I.
Some lady video taped an interview I did with a girl recently. I got really annoyed because a bunch of people were taking pictures, so I asked the athlete to hold on and turned and looked at everyone and said, "One chance to take a photo." I gave a big smile and they all took photos, then I turned my back to them and went back to the interview.
They seemed to take the hint and walked away.

 

I cannot stop laughing.

 

I know for a fact that there are a couple of high school volleyball and soccer players whose parents have a tape that features their child being interviewed by me . . .and then me turning to the camera and sticking out my tongue, or making a face, or smiling, etc.

I never minded when a parent would take or photograph interviews; I always got a kick out of how they thought their kid chatting with some young sports writing dork was such a highlight. May as well have a bit of fun with it.

My thought (and hope) was always that high school sports would not be the highlight of these kids' lives (though it sure is the highlight of some of the parents' lives). It's supposed to be fun, so why not let the parents have a good time recording this stuff . . . . which will surely get taped over as soon as the kid reaches college.

 

I got a really weird package from a writer one time. I met him ONCE at a college football practice. We talked for probably 5 minutes, no big deal.

A week later, I get a manila envelope at the office. It had two cassette tapes in it that he had recorded, ostensibly for me, with song listings. I can't remember, but they were WEIRD songs. Then he had included a folded up photocopy of a column he wrote about his dead cat. He talked about how much he loved the cat, even more than his ex-wife. Or something. It was REALLY creepy.

 

Sorry about that.

 

Dude, do you write for Penthouse Forum or what?

 

Interviewed golf kids this afternoon after the 18th hole. One kid set a state record for consecutive birdies.

Anyway, not many parents come to golf because it's in the middle of the day. Anyway, kid who set record, his parents were there and mom comes out of the clubhouse to take a picture of her kid being interviewed by the sports writer hack.

I stopped as soon as she was in earshot and said, "I'm working here, do you mind?"

"I want a picture of you talking to my son."

"Why?" I questioned emphatically, standing a few feet away from her kid on the 18th hole, far enough away to know that we both were not in the frame. I stood there (a good 15 seconds or so, awkward silence) until the mom answered me.

"Uhh....uh, I don't know."

"I'll be done in just a couple of minutes, mom," the kid says. Then turns to me and makes a sarcastic face and says "ptphhwww, mothers. I'm sorry dude."

"Don't worry about it, kid, now let's talk about this record...."

I don't know why this burns me up. Maybe it has to do with the possibility that this kid's mom probably bitched me out in an email a time or two and now she wants a photograph of her kid speaking with me. Maybe they think I'm the daily's big-time sports columnist, because you know, they write about high school bullshit. Yeah right.

I am not at a sporting event for parents' amusement, and I'm sticking with that. It's my job. I don't go to there job and take photos of them talking to the water delivery man or their receptionist. It's a matter of principle.