Ever been hit by a bus from outer space?

That was awesome, too, Irish.

This UK day at SportsJournalists.com?

 

That explains it!

 

of course, I have. You haven't?

 

When they light that thing up with cruise missiles, I hope they alert the public so we can watch the fireworks.

 

I left the best part of that story out, but I'm sure all of you could've guessed it.

We went to the party, and to every girl I saw, I introduced myself in this fashion: "Hey, my name is Mike. I was just hit by a truck." They looked, laughed, said, "Really?" then walked away, while I had oral sex with a bowl of Tostitos.

 

Did the Tostitos expect you to buy them salsa first?

 

I want it, I want it, I want it....

 

I lied and treated them like the whores they were.

 

You bastard, I bet you carelessly used your teeth while going down on them. Without a thought for their pleasure.

 

You can't....have it.

 

I licked the salt off some of them. But, yes, I bit down. And I didn't feel bad about it for a second. But I was hit by a truck.

 

You are a fascinating look into the human psyche.