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Esquire's Why we cheat

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by JayFarrar, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. JayFarrar

    JayFarrar Well-Known Member


    So, the girlfriend read this over the weekend in the print issue and was less than pleased.

    And it sparked a conversation. "Why do men cheat?"
    I thought long and hard and, for a time, I was going to give a cutesy answer but them my mind changed.
    "Because we can." For the same reason that women cheat on their spouses, because they can.

    Not all men cheat, of course, and neither do all women. But I still maintain that people do things for two reasons: Profit and fear of punishment.
  2. Small Town Guy

    Small Town Guy Well-Known Member

    That was an interesting read. In comparison to James Franco's short story in the same issue, which made me want to cheat with GQ.
  3. novelist_wannabe

    novelist_wannabe Well-Known Member

    I thought it was interesting that the Why We Cheat piece was placed in the mag right before the story about Usain Bolt, in which it's laid out that he'll never be able to prove he doesn't cheat.
  4. Twoback

    Twoback Active Member

    Some people cheat do so because they don't want to be happy.
    They believe happy is boring.
    Some men who cheat do so because they devalue all women except their mothers and daughters.
    People don't cheat simply because "they can." That's no reason. Consider the many instances of guys cheating with women so obviously inferior to their spouses (Christie B.'s ex), or so obviously inferior to what they could land (Clinton/Monica). In that case, "I can" doesn't mean much. You can nail a woman that's below your station? What's so special about that?
  5. novelist_wannabe

    novelist_wannabe Well-Known Member

    Why do people cheat? This is psych 101 ... Because their needs aren't being met. Maybe they need the thrill of risk and the focus required to mute it. Maybe they need intimacy. Maybe they want to take copulation-style retribution. And I'd posit they're not happy to begin with. And I've known guys who cheated just because they could.
  6. JayFarrar

    JayFarrar Well-Known Member

    I've cheated*, just because I could.
    I did it because I no longer feared the punishment of getting caught.

    *I wasn't then and still not married. It was a former girlfriend and I was banging an ex, who was married, at the time. Funny thing about sex with a married person, it feels much like sex with a single person -- pretty damn good.
  7. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    I wouldn't know as I've never tagged a married lady, but I would assume you are correct.
  8. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    I've cheated on one girlfriend, years ago. Two separate instances, once toward the beginning and once toward the end, and both times were generally for the same reason. The first I was just drunk. The second, I knew what I was doing, knew it was wrong, and went ahead and did so anyway because it was an escape of sorts I needed. The girl I cheated with was in a similar situation and we both found solace in each other for a little bit. She eventually got back with her boyfriend and now they're married with a newborn. I know why I did it that time, and in a twisted and perverse way, it was sort of what I needed. But I also know it was still wrong, and the smarter move is to make sure I'm never in such a similar position again in another relationship. And I've been good about that since then.
  9. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    Has anyone answered: Because it gets boring having sex with the same person (man or woman) after about the 600th time?
  10. Azrael

    Azrael Active Member

    Pieces like this are why I don't subscribe.

    Men cheat because DNA's one function is to reproduce. That's it. Genetic imperative. Largest possible biological pool.

    Save the lowercase Cheever for that summer at Yaddo.
  11. novelist_wannabe

    novelist_wannabe Well-Known Member

    Yeah, that too.
  12. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Your wife did right after waking up.
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