Esquire: Mila Kunis is the Sexiest Woman Alive

I feel like the year Halle Berry got the nod, I read somewhere that three other women turned it down first.

At some point, Jolie stopped being sexy and started being scary.

Jessica Beal remains the only one of these pics that made me reconsider the person. I never really thought of her much in the 7th Heaven days. But Ruckus is right. She very well might have the greatest ass in history. She has an athlete's body, not a model's. It's a shame she can't out-act the subscription cards in the magazine.

I no longer know what to think about Scarlett. She really can be sexy, but she's also seems completely obnoxious. She honestly strikes me as one of the most pretentious people on the planet. And other than Lost in Translation, where she mostly served as Bill Murray's sad muse, I don't know that she's ever turned in a good acting performance. (Match Point, maybe.) She strikes me as being everything Kunis is not in more ways than one. Curvy, totally obsessed with what everyone in the room is thinking about her, way too serious, smokey voice instead of squeaky, amazing boobs. That about sums it up.

Theron is, flat out, one of the most attractive people on the planet. Can actually act, which is a nice bonus. Seems to take herself serious, but not so serious that she can't do fun stuff like Young Adult and Arrested Development. Major points for showing up in Arrested Development, in fact.

Halle Berry is certainly attractive, maybe one of the most attractive of this century, but my word is she a boring person/awful actor. Easily the worst best actress winner ever.

Beckinsale is ridiculously sexy and beautiful. Nothing more to say.

Somehow, Minka Kelly looks hotter in a t-shirt than just about anyone ever. But put her in fancy dress and she's just another beautiful woman. I think part of her appeal is she looks like the most beautiful girl you went to high school with, and is about as interesting as a typical high school senior. Probably the worst actress on this list, which is no easy feat.

Rihanna "sexiness" seems to derive primarily from the fact that she sings about how much she likes to have sex. Maybe she's the freak in bed that she's marketed to be, but I don't know. Those naked pics of her floating around do make it seem like she has one of the most amazing asses ever. But she also seems like she might hold a knife to your throat one morning for not reason at all. She and Mr. Brown appear to make a lovely combination of dysfunction and enabling.

I'm one of the few people who thought "Friends With Benefits" was much better than the reception it received from critics and viewers. She was super cute in that movie (my pick for most underrated RomCom last year), and has a magnetic smile. She seems like the coolest chick at every college party, the kind of woman who would chug beers, laugh until it came out her nose, then shout Wu Tang Clan lyrics at the top of her lungs. Obviously the FG stuff shows she doesn't take herself all that seriously, although Black Swan showed she does have some acting chops.


I was thinking about this a little when I saw this thread: Who is someone who is really beautiful but you don't know that you could describe as "sexy?" I nominate Anna Kendrick, who has the most amazing teeth of anyone in Hollywood (the oddest thing to point out as their signature feature, but it's true), and plays the cute klutz like it's the roll she was born to play.

 

To Dick's point earlier ... I am much more Kate Upton than Kunis. I crave curves. And long hair.
My wife is 5-9 (6-2 with her hair fixed) and shapely.

 

Holy shit. Take it or leave it about Kate Beckinsale? Wow.

 

Easy answer. Natalie Portman. Also, Keira Knightley.

They are beautiful. And they have the tits of a 12-year-old boy. Not sexy.

 

Olivia Munn is flat-chested, but she's definitely sexy. It's not just a figure thing, because Kendrick has bigger breasts thank either Knightely or Kunis. I think Knightley is sexy. The library scene in Atonement is super sexy.

 

Haven't seen Atonement.

 

Her bad acting, on occasion, gets in the way for me. She ruined "A Dangerous Method."

 

I think Kunis is fantastic. I'd like to think that the way she was in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is the way she is, super-cool chick, great to be with.
I think she is gorgeous, but not my definition of sexy.
Olivia Wilde: I'm on record in several different threads saying she is No. 1 on my best of the best list. If you can get through "The Change-Up" her role in that movie makes her the perfect girl.

 

"I'll have my briefs on your desk by lunch."

"I'll have my balls on your chin by dinner."

 

Worst. Movie. Ever.

 

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