Esquire: Mila Kunis is the Sexiest Woman Alive

It's sexiest, not hottest... Kunis is adorable, and seems about as friendly and cool as any Hollywood actress could be. That's sexy as hell...

 

People from flyover country don't understand what sexy is. Esquire is providing an important service.

 

Mila Kunis is the current Attractive Enough Actress That Magazines Will Write These Articles Until She Is Replaced It Girl alive.

 

Mila Kunis wasn't even the sexiest woman in "Date Night."

 

She's not even a blonde. :

 

She's not even a blonde ginger. :

 

And her cha-cha has a tooth.

 

Eat something, Mila.

 

And now for our next battle in the UFC:

The One-Toothed Cha-Cha versus the One-Eyed Viper.

Should be a bloody affair, with the One-Eyed Viper losing on a TKO. Tooth bone on bone usually causes a withdrawal.

 

I think Culkin just did the Home Alone scream when someone emailed him this article.

 

She was ridiculously skinny for Black Swan. Dangerously so. She put on 25 pounds after that. I imagine she worked out in anticipation of this, but she's what 5-3? She's tiny, but I don't think she looks unhealthy.

 

I don't think of Mila Kunis as skinny as much as small. Her frame is tiny; what do you want from her?