ESPN pulls out the kneepads for Donte Stallworth

Just lets Stallworth blithely say that he was driving "40 mph, flicked his lights and honked his horn" before hitting the guy in Miami.

You cannot be driving that slowly, have time to flick the lights and still hit someone.

Utter fucking bullshit.

Is there not a single sports JOURNALIST?

 

All while his BAC was twice over the legal limit, and under the influence of marijuana.

I saw that interview earlier this evening.

I don't buy it.

 

I don't either. But it doesn't really matter how fast he was going. He was drunk as shit and stoned to boot. He's lucky he only killed one person.

 

You ever driven 40 mph?

You couldn't run over anyone who you had time to flash the lights at.

 

I don't think he was driving 40 mph. He probably thought he was though.

 

Now you are starting to get my plea for just one single journalist to exist in Bristol

 

But he's VERY VERY SORRY!!!









that he got caught

 

The next very very very sorry fuckup in line for the ESPN slurpalicious fellatio treatment: Charles Rogers.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Charles-Rogers-was-extremely-devoted-to-weed?urn=nfl,180873

Gee whiz, how interesting, how intriguing. Stoned out of his gourd every day. Flamed out of the NFL. Now he's very very sorry. Boo fucking hoo. Good night Charlie zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Bad for business, dude.

 

That's not really a fair statement, considering he pulled over and called 911. But don't let the facts get in the way.

As for Simon's point, you're right on. When he said he flicked his lights and honked the horn, I thought, "Probably should have just slammed on the brakes, buddy." He later added that he applied the brakes, but still.

I'm not sure why any defense lawyer would allow him to say that he flashed his lights and honked the horn. On his 911 tape he says the guy jumped out in front of him. That's the story I would have stuck with. "I didn't warn him, didn't flash my lights at him. The guy friggin ran out in the middle of the street and I couldn't stop." Why the hell would anyone say they flashed their lights and honked their horn before plowing into someone?

That said, case has run its course through the courts and Stallworth paid the price a judge and the victim's family were comfortable with (if it took a large, undisclosed monetary settlement to make the family feel that way, so be it). I'm not going to spend anymore time wailing about the need to punish Donte Stallworth further for something that has absolutely no impact on me.

 

So after killing someone and serving all of 24 days in jail, Donte Stallworth went looking for and got sympathy from the jerks at ESPN who will never say anything bad about anyone in the NFKL because it might hurt their "corporate partner."

Why am I not surprised? Why would anyone watch ESPN for anything other than live games?