Enquirer: Morgan Freeman to marry step-granddaughter

Woody had to marry Soon Yi. She was pregnant with his next wife.

 

Holy fuck, did these make me roar. GENIUS.

Simply fucking outstanding, sir. Well-done.

 

Hockey Night in Canada?


And Shockey, there are about six shawshank references here -- all good.

 

Given his output, you're saying you'll hardly ever be able to watch a movie again.

If he and Samuel L. Jackson ever stop making movies, the whole fucking film industry will go tits up.

 

"People don't want a hero, they want to eat cheeseburgers, play the lotto and watch television marry their step-granddaughter."

- Detective William Somerset [Se7en]

 

Wonder if he calls her Miss Daisy.

 

He's her best friend.

 

"Commissioner Gordon's calling" is their code for "Let's do it! NOW!"

 

So much exclusively awesome exclusive stuff in here, that, by the way, is exclusive to the Enquirer.

— As I understand it, no one else has this information.

— 10-year affair with a 27 year old. Nice. *pulls out calculator* ... Oh. Ought oh. "Honey, it's time we talk about the birds and the bees. Ah, screw talking. I'll just show you."

— Granddaughter of first wife, essentially adopted child of the second wife. That's some damn solid work right there. Two birds with one incestuous statutory rape. All in a good day's work.

 

I must admit I didn't think much of that girl first time I laid eyes on her; looked like a stiff breeze would blow her over. That was my first impression of the woman.