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English, MFker: Do You Speak It?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Starman, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    True story. (Many here hate my rambling stories, so feel free to move on. But I feel that BDC99 might enjoy this one.)

    I taught the famous Little Liesl from age 0 to dislike tomatoes. Because Mom cannot stand to have them in the house.

    She is about 6. Despite all my efforts, she loves tomatoes. I refuse to buy them. When I do ... she eats them like they are apples.

    We live next to Grandma. Grandma grows tomatoes. Grandma asks if Little Liesl can come over for a visit on an evening. Sure. She walks over. Comes home two hours later with the skin around her mouth eaten up and full of a rash I've never seen before. I figure out later that it happened because Grandma allowed her to eat tomatoes straight off the plants where she was growing them. Let her sit on the ground next to the plants and eat tomatoes fresh off the vine until she couldn't take any more. Then sends her home.

    She ate so many that the acid in them tore up her face and I had to keep her home from school for three days.

    Tomatoes are evil.

    EVIL, I tell you.
     
  2. albert77

    albert77 Well-Known Member

    Tell that to my dad, who grows so many tomatoes every year they are coming out of every orifice, and that is only a slight exaggeration. Every year, he makes a shit-ton of tomato relish, salsa, pico de gallo and sliced tomatoes are part of every meal.

    Myself, I can occasionally take a sliced tomato with dinner, but the only time a tomato slice finds the inside of a sandwich I'll eat is on a BLT.
     
  3. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    I suggest rubbing your tomatoes on the nearest cooter.
     
  4. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    Upon further review, I suggest not mixing tomatoes and cooter.
     
  5. Norrin Radd

    Norrin Radd New Member

    But enough about Lieslntx's average male caller.
     
  6. ColdCat

    ColdCat Well-Known Member

    I also hate tomatoes

    but I like ketchup

    isn't it ironic
     
  7. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  8. Brian

    Brian Well-Known Member

    Tomatoes are like peanuts to me. A good one is one of the best tasting things in the world. A bad tasting one ruins my appetite for hours.
     
  9. Irony Police

    Irony Police New Member

    No, it's not ironic. It's fucking stupid. Now get in the back of the car, son.
     
  10. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    Nice work, Officer.

    Can SpellCheck Police come out to play?
     
  11. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    I miss bspolice.
     
  12. SoCalScribe

    SoCalScribe Member

    ...like a red rubber ball
     
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