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Editing - Which version is better?

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by Chiefdom, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. Chiefdom

    Chiefdom New Member

    Thanks guys, you are free to help others!
     
  2. Chiefdom

    Chiefdom New Member

  3. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    My feedback is you should be glad I wasn't your editor, or what would have run would have looked like this:
     
  4. Chiefdom

    Chiefdom New Member

    Care to elaborate more specifically? I'd really be appreciate anything you have to offer. Thanks.
     
  5. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    More specifically, if you're still in college and you're already advocating circumstantial evidence over the gathering of facts, then I think you need to ask your school for a tuition refund.
     
  6. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    OK, back to this. I see some extra words that were taken out. I also see some changes such as breaking up sentences that I wouldn't necessarily have made. But I don't think they're bad changes.
     
  7. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    I would do that, except I have yet to see anything more than superficial changes. Substantially it seems to be much the same between versions.
     
  8. WazzuGrad00

    WazzuGrad00 Guest

    Well, the edit missed the fact that it was Justin Gatlin and not someone named Chris Gatlin who was suspended for testing positive.

    When the facts aren't right, the rest of it really doesn't matter.
     
  9. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    I agree with the changes to the first graf, but I wouldn't have made the same change and created the sentence fragment in the second graf.
     
  10. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    If this hasn't run yet, then you could knock "A few months ago" out of the lede.
     
  11. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Now I'm confuzzled. So is it going to run with Chris Gatlin as the name?
     
  12. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Not to overstep here, but if the original text has been removed, this thread may as well be deleted.
     
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