"Editing" a story

If there's not time on a Friday night, maybe the writer and desk can find some time during the weekend or early the next week to discuss why the lede was changed.

 

That's the way to handle it.
Lesson learned: Stay away from cliches.
Always.

 

Excellent. That's all your sports editor can ask. You learned a lesson.

 

mills with the unexpected turn of events.

you must be 40, because that was a man-like response.

 

I'll echo what others' sentiments: Both ledes sucked. My advice to any young writer is to read major papers and study them. Note how their writers approach stories, be it features, enterprise, columns or gamers and apply it to your job. When you're writing a story, ask yourself: Would the New York Times or Washington Post or Boston Globe run this? I'd be stunned to see a lede like yours -- or the desk's -- in one of those papers.