Easter comes two months early at my house

I have something similar going on with my nieces. They're my brother's kids, and their paternal grandfather lives about six houses away. He gives them $20 for every A they get ... whether it's homework, a quiz or a test.

I can see giving kids a reward for a good report card, but this is over the top. The 7-year-old was at my house over the summer and lost her wallet with $40 inside in one of our couch cushions. She hardly cared.

 

Fixed.

 

Won't she be surprised on Easter morning when she's awakened by a giant starburst artillary shell fireworks explosion in her backyard and her grandchildren bursting through the front door yelling, "Happy Fourth of July!"

 

She's a grandmother.

That's what they do.

 

Nothin' says Christianity like a chocolate cross in an Easter basket. That's one I've never seen before.

 

He mentioned Peeps separately. I want the chocolate-covered marshmallow bunnies. Eat the ears first. They're best that way.

 

I eat the ears last.

So that they have to die hearing themselves scream.