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E-mails from an asshole

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by mustangj17, Jul 9, 2009.

  1. Care Bear

    Care Bear Guest

    Okay. I can't even speak...my cheeks are so wet...gushing tears of laughter. I know this is so immature.

    This one was a little tricky. If you didn't figure it out, I am both Mike Anderson and Kira Anderson.
    Original ad:
    i am looking to trade/barter my 1994 Jeep Wrangler. 140k miles, yellow, good condition. NO CASH. I will barter just about anything of equal value!
    From Mike Anderson to **********@***********.org
    CC: Kira Anderson

    Hey,

    I saw your ad for a '94 Wrangler for barter. I will trade you my whore of a wife for that car. She is a dirty little slut that fucks just about anything that moves. She doesn't really have much to offer, so I figure she is worth about the price of a used 1994 wrangler. I understand if you think she isn't worth it, so I am willing to throw in $200 cash on top of that. If you are looking for a loose whore that will give it up easily, my wife will be well worth the trade. Let me know if you are interested. Does the Wrangler come with a title?

    From Jim ***** to Me


    Ha ha! Very funny. I am married and don't think I would be interested in your wife. Thanks for the offer though!

    From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim *****


    OH FUCK YOU MIKE!! DROP FUCKING DEAD!!! YOU ARE SUCH A SCUMBAG PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

    From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim *****


    Fuck YOU, you stupid pussycat! What are you doing on the computer? I figured you were fucking Steve again. Or how about our neighbor? I'm sure he's looking to stick his dick in some rotten pussy. You fucking twat.

    From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim *****


    MIKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THIS IS IT. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME TODAY BECAUSE ILL BE WAITING WITH A FUCKIN KNIFE

    From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim *****

    Ooh I'm real fucking scared. It might be kind of hard to stab me with 10 inches of black dick in your mouth you fucking WHORE

    From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson


    Hey you two sound like a great couple and all, but could you stop including me in these e-mails? I really don't think this concerns me.

    From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim *****

    TELL YOU WHAT JIM ILL BUY YOUR FUCKING WRANGLER SO I CAN RUN OVER MY PIECE OF SHIT HUSBAND WITH IT

    From Mike Anderson to Jim *****, Kira Anderson


    Jim don't sell it to her. She'll probably pick up a random dude and crash the jeep while she's sucking his dick.

    From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim *****

    FUCK YOU

    From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson

    Will both of you shut the fuck up and stop e-mailing me? Jesus fucking christ man c'mon!
     
  2. Oggiedoggie

    Oggiedoggie Well-Known Member

    It would have been funnier if he would have asked if the guy would trade the Wrangler for Sir Walter Raleigh in a can.
     
  3. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

    I'm gonna e-mail a bowling alley and ask if they have 16-pound balls. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH

    ::) ::) ::)
     
  4. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Nope, only 12. They had to downsize.
     
  5. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Oddly enough, this is what I call my folder of e-mails from BYH.
     
  6. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    This is fucking hilarious. I'm in tears.
     
  7. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member

    Yet another post that is funnier than any of the emails from the asshole.
     
  8. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    I'm guessing it's not ACTUALLY an asshole typing them ...
     
  9. Oggiedoggie

    Oggiedoggie Well-Known Member

    Perhaps Oscar Mayer's ghost?
     
  10. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Well-Known Member

    So, what are you doing with your life these days?

    "I'm an asshole who sends asshole e-mails to people."

    Great! Your parents must be so proud.
     
  11. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    It's more than I'm doing with my life!
     
  12. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Well-Known Member

    Heh. Your parents must ... oh, forget it.
     
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