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Dumbest back story of a movie villain ever ...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Bubbler, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    I watched this movie tonight. When the villain appears, this is how he explains his psychosis ...

    "When I was a boy I was brought up in a circus. My only real friend was a huge, magnificent African bull elephant. One day, his handler mistreated him and he went berserk. Bleeding, dying, he came and found me, stood on one leg, his best trick, picked me up and put me on his back. The drunken handler came along and emptied his gun into his eye ... I emptied my stage pistol into his! ... I always thought I loved animals. Then I discovered that I enjoyed killing people even more!"

    I'll give SJ until 4 a.m. (EST) to figure what steaming piece of shit movie this quote is from. I'll give SJ until 6 a.m. to produce a picture of the villain. No Googling the quote, you cheating a-holes!

    Here's a hint, a chase featuring -- God help us -- AMC vehicles, is promiently featured.
  2. John

    John Well-Known Member

    I didn't know so I had to cheat. An a google image search I did see that there is a movie-themed Swatch available.
  3. Elliotte Friedman

    Elliotte Friedman Moderator Staff Member

    "Unfortunately, I have no swimming trunks."

    "Neither do I"
  4. pressboxer

    pressboxer Active Member

    The Man With The Golden Gun
  5. The Exorcist
  6. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Man with the Golden Gun... Scaramanga, talking into his third nipple


    Sorry Bubbs, just woke up. Missed deadline...
  7. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

  8. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Based on true events.
  9. Ripped from the headlines!
  10. bigpern23

    bigpern23 Well-Known Member

    I believe that's the ridiculous speech that Mike Myers based his Dr. Evil history on. They're very different, but they have a same sort of randomness.

    "The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

    My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

    My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.

    At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's really quite breathtaking, I assure you."
  11. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Scaramanga's flying AMC ...


    Only the pure stupidity of Moonraker keeps Man With The Golden Gun off the bottom of the Bond canon.
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