Driving down south and it might snow ... I'm going to die aren't I?

Heading down south on my beat, driving this trip as its about five hours and change away.

It could snow on Friday during my return leg to the alma mater. I should be somewhere between Nashville and Louisville when the wintry shit might hit the fan.

Now being from Wisconsin, I have no hang-ups about driving in snow or even ice, though that's much worse. I kind of take a lame-ass perverse pride in it, like my dick is longer because I can drive effortlessly down a drifty interstate. :

Having lived in Louisville for a time, however, I know snow is anathema to southern drivers. I expect full-blown weather freak-outs all down the I-65 corridor. Cars sliding left-and-right, Chevy pick-ups with Calvin pissing stickers meeting a yellow snowy end, people driving 30 miles UNDER what they should be driving, sisters fucking brothers (oh wait, never mind), the whole bit.

It's going to be blood and snow on the highway, and I fear my sorry ass is going out innocent bystander style. Some bullshit is going down -- something like when Mabel from Cave City, Ky. slams on the brakes because she thought she saw a Yeti, and I get collected like it's the Talladega big one.

Sucks being me.

 

Re: Going down south and it might snow ... I'm going to die aren't I?

I know what you mean, Bubs. Every time it even rains here, it seems the collective populace dons golf caps, dusts off the old Buicks and goes for nice, leisurely drives at least 20 mph below the limit. I swear, it could drive a man to black tar heroin.

 

Thread title clarified.

 

Re: Going down south and it might snow ... I'm going to die aren't I?

It can't be any worse than how the cocksuckers of Seattle handled a half-inch of snow late Monday night. I-5 was a fucking parking lot. Might have come close to missing my flight had it not been canceled -- BECAUSE THE CREW COULDN'T GET TO THE FUCKING AIRPORT!!!

What a bunch of fucking pathetitards.

 

Southerners on Ice is great entertainment. I'll never forget when my mother made me go out and practice on the shit when I was 17 ... just in case.

Snow tires are to yankees what anti-hurricane plywood is to anyone on the southeastern seaboard.

 

this guy could be on the road

 

A couple of years ago, Dallas had snow and ice and I think it was on Christmas Eve. The county reported something like 500 calls for accidents within an hour. Of course, none of the local governments had enough foresight to think about having a couple of plows, or salt and sand, on hand, just in case.

 

I've lived here two years and havent seen any. But all the locals keep talking about how life shuts down when it does.
My brother used to manage a nightclub in Nashville, moving there from Minnesota just for that purpose. One day it snowed half an inch. His staff all called and said they couldnt make it in. His response was, "You're telling me this at my desk at work. I made it in, you should too."

 

It always amazes me how few people understand that driving too slow can be just as unsafe as driving too fast. And Southerners in the snow...ugh.

Of course, if you're stuck on the highway, that means you won't be subjected to TV news reports of folks storming the Piggly Wiggly to stock up on bottled water and non-perishables for the coming blizzard-related apocalypse.

 

I live in a statte that is no stranger to snow and ice.
However, the first time snow or ice hits, it's amateur day on the interstate.

 

Go ahead and get your bread and milk early, so you will have something to nosh on at the East Podunk high school gymnasium.

 

Having grown up south of the 36th parallel, I think Southerners use snow as an excuse more than anything else to get off work or out of school. Unless you get a 5-incher or something ridiculous, you can drive fine in snow if you keep it slow and steady.

But ice is different. All it takes is about an eighth of an inch and the coefficient of friction on the pavement drops to about zero. You could have a 4-wheel drive assault vehicle and still wind up in the ditch or in someone's ass end at the bottom of a hill. You don't get as much much ice up north.