Dr. Bonds finally discovers cure for hater-itis

My wife? Hahahahahaha. What a fucking joke, dude. Oh yeah, count me in on the hater army

 

If he really wanted to show his gratitude he should've gone down to the piers and sucked a few cocks.

 

I need a ruling. Does that qualify as hater-itis?

 

Survey says.....YES!

 

His teammates were haters, too? Man, this hateritis had spread worse than the bubonic plague.

 

Hateritis was a Pharaoh of the Third Dynasty, I believe.
What's he have to do with Bonds?

 

So now it's all about the benjamins?

 

Yes, and some American drug lords got richer due to Barry Bonds.

 

Page 51 of this week's SI

Bonds 1996
Age: 31
Ht: 6-1

Bonds 1997
Age: 32
Ht: 6-2

If Bonds never doped, then he might be the first person to experience a growth spurt in his 30s.

 

We should check WebMD first to make sure this isn't just a case of Hateriasis instead. That's a lesser irritation, and can be easily cleared up by liberal applications of simple organic unguents.

 

My hateritis means I sit in a tub in the middle of nowhere holding my significant others' hand.

 

Nope, he was the inventor of soccer, which explains everything.