Does he still have enough chest hair to show off?

David Lee Roth is indeed reunited with Van Halen, and they plan a tour. I'm not holding my breath.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070203/ap_on_en_mu/people_van_halen

And wow, Wolfgang, the new bassist, is 15. Wonder if he'd be breaking labor laws at some of the stops.

 

I guess he spent all the money from the radio gig already.

 

I heard that rivaled the Chevy Chase talk show among the things that never should have seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

Right along with the Magic Johnson talk show.

 

Forget chest hair. Has he been in touch with Sy Sperling lately?

 

And I believe he's only played bass for a couple of months. Apparently Michael Anthony was fired for either wanting to play the occasional live gig with Sammy or for criticizing Eddie during the last tour:

"I hate to talk smack about anyone in the band or whatever, but, y'know, Eddie, you know, he's still doing a bit of drinking and everything. There were nights where it was kind of like a rollercoaster, up or down, and myself, I would have liked to have seen him totally clean up if we were gonna take this further."

This will not end well, I'm afraid.

 

20 years later, they still can't figure out who the fuck they want as their lead singer. Didn't they do a reunion tour with Hagar like two years ago? Can't wait for the reunion with the Extreme guy in 2010 with Roth playing the triangle.

 

It won't begin or middle well, either.

 

OK but only if they play "Kid Ego."

 

Van Halen is: David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen and Michael Anthony. End of story.

No Hagar, no Gary Cherone or whatever his name is and Wolfgang, unlike Jason Bonham when he did stuff with Plant and Page, should finish HIGH SCHOOL first.

 

Maybe Magic Johnson should be the lead singer and bass player.

 

We should just be thankful there's not a new Van Halen reality show where we the viewers get to pick the new lead singer.