Does anyone take care of their kids when they're sick?

OK, this is mainly a rant with a legitimate question at the end.

As some of you may know, Queencreole runs a small daycare in our home. Almost every day this month, someone has brought their kids here when they are sick. Technically, they aren't supposed to be here when they have one of those wonderful runny noses, but we usually overlook that.

Having said that, parents are bringing their kids over with fevers bordering 100 degrees. Then they give a BS excuse when we call and tell them their kids need to go home. A couple weeks ago, a first grader we watch after school threw up twice in one night, and yet they took her to school the next day. When she got to our house, she had a 100.3 degree fever. Mom and Dad didn't come get her until the usual time.

Today, a baby in our daycare yacked about 15 minutes ago. Queencreole called the baby's mom to tell her the baby needs to go home. Mom's response? "Did she throw up or just spit up?" Good fucking gravy, are you serious? The little bugger vomited all over the gawd damn recliner!

I am just amazed by the number of people who bring their kids to daycare/school when they are sick. Not just with a cough ... like REALLY sick.

In some cases, I know one mom who brings her kids over is not allowed to take sick days to take care of her kids, which has to be the most fucked up thing I've ever heard because she works at a fucking HOSPITAL. But that's it. Why the hell won't parents take care of their kids when they are sick?

Is this our society that looks down at missing work unless it's vacation? Or is this just lazy fucking parents who don't want to have to deal with sick kids, or their kids in general? Last week, one set of parents asked if we could watch their kids until 5:30 p.m. so they could ... go TV shopping. Too tough to take the kids along, they told us.

I guess I really don't understand.

End rant.

 

If the company won't let you take off work when your kids are sick, why are you bitching about the parents?

 

Because people expect daycare to take care of their kids. They're sick? As long as they aren't dying, I'm going to work.

 

A company that won't allow its employees to take sick days to take care of their children is no company I'd want to work for.

If a company will let you take sick days to care for your children, there should be no reason that children get sent to day care or school when they're running 100 degree-plus fevers or throwing up. Period. It's obscene that you and Queencreole had to deal with that.

My parents took care of me when I was sick as a kid. Both of them did. In fact, Dad was a little better at it than Mom was, even before he got his nursing degree. About the only time they didn't was when I was sick enough to miss a day, but not brutally sick. Then I'd usually stay home.

When I had cancer surgery almost two years ago, my dad's partner and my dad both pitched in the day of the surgery and the next day. Two days after surgery, I was pretty much healthy enough to go back to work. I think I did some work from home then.

 

A lot of companies have flexible time, but the majority have sick days -- which are to be used when you are sick. Not when you want to go out of town or to take care of your kids when they are sick.

Now, plenty of bosses would understand and would not make a fuss if you needed to be out because a kid was sick.

But others don't want to grant it because they want to be able to fire bad employees (or employees who want to start unions) so they can't treat the good employees differently and let them break policy with a wink.

 

I'm completely sympathetic to kingcreole on this issue.

I think if you procreate you've essentially signed an 18-year contract to make your kid(s) the most important job in your life. If you work for an ogre who doesn't allow sick days for yourself, let alone your kids, then you better get used to the concept of having to sacrifice your vacation days to handle the issue of kids who are under the weather.

Having said that, I'm been on the wrong side of the equation in offices where the policy toward moms and dads is too lenient. I can't tell you how many times over the years co-workers were allowed to leave early to tend to kids or used their sick days to stay home with an ill child.

This inevitably left me, a single male with no dependents (that I'm aware of) to have to cover pieces of their workload. I never got to cash in very many of those chits before the company screwed me over when I had medical issues of my own to deal with.

 

That's what I'm asking. Has it really come to this, where a company expects you not to take care of your sick kid but has to work instead?

And it's just one parent who is not allowed to take off to care for a sick child. Everyone else? I think they'd rather not deal with their own kids when they are sick. And why should we have to take care of a sick kid, who is cranky, crabby, won't eat or listen, getting snot or puke all over the place and will get everyone else sick, when Mom and Dad should be dealing with it?

 

KC, over the years I've talked to a lot of teachers and other school employees who have said the same thing you did. One school employee told me there are even parents that will deliberately put down wrong numbers on the emergency contact card so that they aren't bothered while the child (or children) is at school.

Personally, I don't get it. My kids come first, even if they are teens now. In fact, I turned down a job offer last week because I just knew that there would be a problem if I had to stay home with a sick kid. When my oldest started kindergarten, I got a cell phone so school

I think it's a combination of all of the above. Companies with no flexibility paired with parents who don't understand that once you become a parent, selfishness is not an option.

 

I see both sides on this one...

If your kid is sick and you bring him to day care anyway, yeah, you're an asshole...

But there are a lot of day cares out there that have stupid rules about how many days the kid has to be off after having a fever, which my wife, who is a doctor, says is just about the dumbest thing ever, since kids' temperatures spike up by about a degree at the end of the day and tend to go up a bit if they're teething.

"You're kid has a 100 degree temperature and not only do you have to leave work now to pick him/her up, but you also have to keep them home the next two days even though they're 100 percent healthy."

Some people can get paid time off if their kids are sick. A lot can't.

 

You made some good points MUgrad. If a kid is under 100 degrees and not showing any other symptom, it's not really worth causing a stink about. And if a kid is sick one day and is doing well the next, it's not a problem too. But the worst is unsympathetic companies that won't give you time off to take care of sick kids. Maybe one day, some parent will bring said sick kid to work for an hour while he/she finishes up and the kid can take a crap in Lumbergh's office.

 

Wait...the company has sick days but won't let you take them unless you are sick?

WTF?!?

Why would you have to explain to them why you are taking the day off? My company has CTO (or combined time off). You can use it for whatever you want. If you are going to dip into your MTO (or medical time off), you have to use 3 days of CTO days first.

Fortunately I don't have to report to a traditional office every day. As long as I have my cell phone and a computer, I can work anywhere...and have.

What about when there is a snowstorm and they close day care, like they did today in Pittsburgh? My sister had to stay home with the 2 kids all day, effectively taking a vacation day.

Her day care has a 100 degree/vomit rule. If you hit a 100 degree fever or vomit, they can't come to day care.

For $1,000 a month, day care needs to be able to deal with a runny nose, in my opinion.
My niece has hit a 100 degree fever several times, with no outward symptons. I just think she's teething. Vomiting? I can see where they should definitely stay home.

A question: Do you reimburse the parent for that missing day if the kid stays home sick?

I thought so.

 

Each parent gets 10 free days throughout the year, and that does not include holidays or vacations that we take.

We do not close for weather. If people want to bring their kids over in a frickin' tornado, we're open.

The runny nose bit? That's from the state health department. When the nose has those two wonderful streams running down to the mouth and has nifty colors? Technically according to the health department, they are not supposed to be there. But like I said earlier, we overlook it.