Do your parents still buy you Christmas gifts?

Did his parents agree to do that?

 

They did. Anything to shut him up.

 

My parents who are broke-ass give my kids a $25 dollar gift card. I told them not to worry about it but it makes them feel good as grandparents.

My father in-law gives escalating amounts of cash to each of his 3 daughters. We got $500 this year, basically 100 per adult and kid. My sister-in laws both get the same per person amount.

I mentioned on the Christmas cheer thread that we have gotten away from drawing names for adults and do an adopt a family instead, best decision we ever made.

 

Yeah, I have no tolerance for the whole "It's not fair!" people.
This guy is a train wreck. I've mentioned him on other threads, but he's got a lot going for him, but socially, I don't know if I've ever met someone as inept as him. Smart guy, has money, good-looking, doesn't have a drinking or drug problem, but has never been on a date. He has basically no friends and he just resents the hell out of his sisters for being married with kids and he takes it out on the family, but his parents take the brunt of it.

 

I'm with Dick on this one. We are trying to get all the parents (my mom, my dad, wife's mom and stepfather and wife's dad and stepmother) to quit buying for us.

They all demand lists from us and buy exclusively off those lists. We know what we are getting, there's no element of surprise. So I don't know how there's any enjoyment in getting a shopping list, buying it and giving it to a person who knows what's in the package.

 

Then ask for a gift card and buy what you want with it.

I know what I'm getting for Christmas but I'm still going to be excited when I get it.

Will it be like it is for my kids who will rush down and see what Santa brought them? No, but I'm an adult, I don't expect that.

 

Our family tried to do the draw-a-name-and-only-buy-for-that-person deal. It never works, and here's why:

* The kids are exempted, so that's a dozen people right there.
* My mom, let's say, pulls one of her brother's names. So she gets him whatever
* But "my sister and I always exchange gifts" so she gets her something
* But "my brother's wife will probably buy me something, so I'd better get her something." And she does
* "But of course I'm going to buy for my parents"
* "But of course I'm buying for you", not minding that I've all but begged her not to buy me gifts for the better part of a decade
* At this point, she realizes that there's only a few people she ISN'T buying for, and that would be awkward, so she buys for them too.

Then that Christmas, inevitably: "You know what we should do? Draw a name out of a hat, and we only buy for that person!"

I totally understand not wanting to do gift exchanges. More often than not it's "well, I HAVE to do this" or "I'm expected to buy for this person" or "I don't know what this person likes, so I'll just buy something random and hope for the best". All of which undercuts what should be the impetus for the giving in the first place. If you don't know someone well enough that you don't know what they like, then why are you buying for them? If you love someone and want something nice for them, why wait until Christmas or their birthday? Why not buy it when the impulse strikes you and give it to them right away? I'm not saying don't celebrate the holiday or their birthday or anniversary, I'm saying if you see something they'd really like, why would you think "I'll buy this now but I have to wait three months to give it to her because it's September"?

 

I'm in the camp with what 93 said about the good feeling you get from giving presents. I was a selfish prick for a lot of my formative years, but after maturing a bit, getting married and having kids, it all changed. I don't think there's a present on earth that would give me as much joy as the happiness I get from seeing my wife/kids open presents that really blow their doors off.

We have some friends who have a parent who did very, very well in the prefab housing industry. These friends are teachers, live in a $400,000 house and spend their entire holiday break at the parents' Aspen vacation home and take annual huge family vacations to Hawaii, Mexico and the Caribbean. The entire family goes on these, all on the parents' dime. She told me a couple of years back that she called her father and asked if it was probably about time to raise the amount of the checks they all receive at Christmas time, and he fell right in line with her thinking.

Good for the father, I guess, to spend his money as he'd like to spend it. But that's some fucked up sort of entitlement there.

 

It's been quite a few years for me, but . . .

Don't kids kind of "know" what they are getting when they give a list to Santa? Doesn't seem to lessen their enjoyment. There were always a few surprises each year, but most of my pre-Christmas enjoyment as a kid came from looking forward to getting the things I knew I was going to get.

 

My mom gave me and her a laundry basket of goodies at a family Christmas event on Sunday.

Some jars of homemade stuff. Some things like candy and microwave popcorn. A couple of books. Various things from Melaluca, if anyone is familiar with such, and a pair of homemade moccasins, which left me scratching my head.

She did the same for my four siblings and their spouses.

She does more for the grandkids.

She's 75. She does what she wants. Even if I told her not to, she'd still do the same thing.

Her mom, she'll have presents waiting on me when I get there today. She'll also pack a stocking with smaller things.

She's 71. She also does what she wants. Even if I told her not to, she'd still do the same thing.

It makes them both happy and it seems like a dick move to complain about other people's joy.

 

I've lived far from home since about 2007, often in places where mail delivery is far from reliable. My default response when asked about Christmas or birthday gifts (and my parents always ask) is to tell them not to send anything and, if they must buy something, wait until I make the annual trip home. I bring a few things back with me, so we get the gift-giving done in one go. At this point, just having the chance to be around everyone is present enough.