Do you have girls in your life?

I'm a bit older that the current posters to the thread.
But, I'll include my experience.

I have girls.

Wife of nine years.

Three daughters
Ages: One almost six. Or, "five-and-a-half-and-three-quarters."
         A middle sister
         And a baby sister


And, a four-year-old golden retriever (female).

My wife has some interest in professional sports. We were both athletes in a prior life. But, other than watching an occasional ballgame on a day off, our conversations usually include other interests. After 12 hours in the office, I've had my fill of sports for one day.

 

I understand what you are saying fishwrapper and I like to talk about other things, but when you are constantly on the road or going to games it is nice to have a female companion at least be interested in what you are doing in your work. And it sounds like Mrs. Fishwrapper is.

Where as Ms. ex-Angola! wasn't and that is what caused some problems in my relationship.

 

I totally understand. And you're absolutley right. (And, being on the road is a different beast).
And, I would like to append my earlier post...Because in no way am I down on sports...

My wife and I think sports are an integral part of raising a child. We, in this profession, see it every day. The lessons learned on a field, court, ring, rink, Do-Jo are invaluable. What better way is there to teach "humility" or "dealing with failure" than in competition? Not to mention working and accepting others.

 

I have two: One is 38 and the other is almost 16.

 

I want my daughter to pursue what she's interested in. If that's sports, fine. If it's the arts, that's fine too. I wasn't going to push anything specific on her, just as long as she was involved in something. Mine is almost 13, and she's gravitated toward the arts. She's taken voice lessons and piano lessons, and now she's in her first musical. She is doing cheerleading. That's more of a social thing for her than it is a sport, which is fine. It requires effort and she puts effort into it. That's all I really care about. The confidence comes from doing something well; doesn't have to be a sport.

 

I applaud those of you who say you don't or won't push your kids to do sports, but you do need to encourage them to be active. Even if it's not competitive, teach them an activity like swimming or hiking they can continue into adulthood. Neither of my parents were very active as kids or young adults and they're paying for it now.

 

My sister is the only girl in my life. She's not much into sports, and I try not to force sports onto her. When she asks questions about sports, I try to answer them as best I can.

She's very active and knows the importance of living an active lifestyle.

If and when I find the girl that becomes Mrs. 'Beat, I am not going to force sports on her or on our potential children. I will talk to them about being active, but to put them into every sport even if they're miserable, no.

 

This is why I relish life, Junkie ... we're all very different and what works for one might not work for another.

I spent 10 years of my adolescense playing sports and on a couple of elite travel teams. I never burned out from playing - in fact, I continue to play in competitive leagues now because of that passion cultivated as a young girl. There is proof that sports can be No. 1 in a chick's life and yet she can still be well-adjusted and maintain a "love for the game."

 

My friend Sxy makes a great point. You can't force a sport on a kid because they will end up despising you and the game.

 

To think a parent doesn't have influence, is a bit Utopia and "head-in-the-sand."
A child of 4, 5, 6, 7 or 8 isn't going to know her interests without influence. Whether it's a ballgame that's on after dinner or Dad wearing his Kansas City Royals cap, a parent is influential. Do you introduce her to volleyball or soccer or softball before Bocce or duckpin bowling? That is the parents' influence. Whether she thrives or accepts the influence, well that's a whole different sack of fairy dust.
My daughters are involved in martial arts. That was my influence. Presently, they love it. But, who knows in a couple of years. They also do other activities that I've had minimal influence (dance and art). The line is easily blurred and it's a constant struggle for parents.

 

The advice I give anyone, whether family or not is that the most important thing is that you are happy with whatever you are doing, because being happy should be one of the most important goals in life. Whether that means playing sports or making a career choice, happiness is important.

Probably the only other thing is to stay out of trouble and stay out of the hen house.

 

I have two nieces, one who is 6, the other who is 1 1/2. The 6-year-old plays soccer and dances. She seems to enjoy both things and also enjoys dolls and other girl stuff. The 1 1/2-year-old is still trying different things.
I doubt I'll ever have kids and if I don't have any before I'm 50, I don't want to have them because it would be kind of selfish of me to have kids and be dead before they're in college.
If I had a daughter, I'd hope I wouldn't push her in either direction, but rather give her a chance to try several different things, sports, arts, dance, etc. and as long as she found something she could enjoy and it's something positive I'd encourage that interest.
The one thing I'd insist on, boy or girl, is swimming lessons for drown-proofing.