Do you ever do this at airports?

Well then as a rule stay out of Southern Airports when feeling urge to express yourself.

 

I'm being repressed.

 

If I travel without my wife, I bring some of my wife's Ambien, pop two as soon as the plane takes off, and I see the person next to me in about four hours.

The worst flight was a long one for a job interview. I worked past midnight, came home and finished editing my critique and figured I'd sleep on the plane. Had a baby behind me that cried the whole time. I had zero sleep for the interview but got the job anyway.

When I was in my mid-20s a strikingly beautiful woman sat next to me. I did not believe her when she told me she was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, so she showed me a photo. She was smart, funny and nice as could be. End of the flight, I figured a chance like this happens only so often in one life, so I summoned my courage and asked her out. She said no, but nicely.

Another long flight on the way home from a job interview in my late 20s, there was a 40ish woman, average looks, across the aisle who was generally making a drunken ass of herself on a flight that was maybe a quarter-full. So of course I invited her to sit with me. Within about 10 minutes we were in an hours-long liplock. I think the few passengers within sight of us didn't complain because they no longer had to listen to her speak. At some point she said to me, "You probably think you're going to join the Mile High Club tonight, but you aren't." True, but the most fun I've had on a flight.

 

Frank, I'm sorry you couldn't gain entry into the club. She showed you the door but wouldn't open up the gate. That slutty bitch!!!! ;D

 

Straight from Slappy's book of inspirational messages.

I would have responded..... "Fuck you, we ain't dying today."

 

Just like making sure there is at least one empty urinal between you and another pisser.