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Do you ever do this at airports?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Kaylee, Dec 19, 2006.

Page 4 of 7
  1. Columbo

    Columbo Active Member

    I hadn't nominated a post of the year.

    I'm tossing this one in.

    Sublimely described.
     
    Columbo, Dec 19, 2006
    #37
  2. Highway 101

    Highway 101 Active Member

    No real awful stories from the Highway other than a typical sitting next to the fat guy or family with a crying baby.

    But I always find myself in the terminal looking for the best looking gal there and hoping she sits next to me. I'm about 0-for-50 in the last five years. They're always two rows in front or three behind me.

    But I fly on Friday, so I'm hoping for some good luck.
     
    Highway 101, Dec 19, 2006
    #38
  3. Terd Ferguson

    Terd Ferguson Member

    Unfortunately, I have nothing to offer as remedy for warding off terrible seat-mates.

    However, I highly reccomend traveling with a portable music device of some sort. Though you can't turn them on until mid-flight, make your intentions known to the fat, chatty beast beside you by pulling the headphones out as soon as you board the plane. It's up to you whether you actually listen to music or not, but 9 times out of 10 people get the hint: Man in headphones not a willing participant in chit-chat.
     
    Terd Ferguson, Dec 19, 2006
    #39
  4. Columbo

    Columbo Active Member

    Everyone yanking the John Candy imagery on this thread.
     
    Columbo, Dec 19, 2006
    #40
  5. Boom_70

    Boom_70 Well-Known Member

    There is a special place in hell for those who put their seat back. Usually done when I have gone to bathroom.

    I like to give them a special treatment:

    - open air vent full and point in their direction.

    - casually let NY Times fall on back of their head ( this drives people crazy)

    - wait till they are asleep or about to sip coffee and drive my shoulder into seat as I get up to go to bathroom. Giving them full 255 never fails to send people flying out of seat.
     
    Boom_70, Dec 19, 2006
    #41
  6. Jones

    Jones Active Member

    The greatest invention of all-time -- even better than insulin, in my humble opinion -- is the Bose noise-cancelling headphones, giant fucking earmuffs style.

    As for seatmates, I've had some good, some bad. Sat next to the woman who wrote The Return of Martin Guerre on a flight back from France; this was when I was just starting out, and she was very kind to answer a bunch of annoying questions about writing. (At this very moment, she's probably posting on HistoricalNovelists.com about the dumbass she had to endure when flying from Paris.) Sat with Linda Hamilton once coming out of L.A. and listened to her bitch about James Cameron for an entertaining hour. Sat next to a supercutie on a 12-hour flight from London to Bangkok; I enjoyed watching her eat.

    Have also suffered through gastropods asking to raise the armrest between us (no fucking way, hoss). Was elbowed in the face every five minutes by a twitchy lawyer all the way to London. Ended up with a two-year-old on my lap after deciding my soothing it was the only way it would shut up. It worked, but I couldn't feel my legs by the time I got to Arizona.

    Ah, it's just a flight.
     
    Jones, Dec 19, 2006
    #42
  7. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    OK. I'll throw in a good experience. Believe it or not, this isn't my best "met a woman on a plane" story, but I don't want to share the better one...

    I was flying back from London with a good friend; jeez, it was probably 10 years ago. Packed flight and I am in the middle between my friend and this beautiful woman (I was in my 20s, she was probably mid 30s), who is seething about something. My friend isn't feeling well and falls asleep pretty quickly. I get to know the woman, and she gives me the story: she and her fiance were supposed to be in first class, but either the airline overbooked or he screwed up the tickets (can't remember the reason), and they only had one first class seat... And HE took it and sent her back to coach!!! She was pissed off. Telling me he is the CFO of some company and she's going to make him pay. So she and I start drinking the little bottles of wine they have on the flight and I proceed to get rocked. Just stumbling drunk. As drunk as I have ever been without passing out. She's going drink for drink with me, and the flight attendant is encouraging it, by unloading all the extra bottles of wine she has on us. We finish one and there's another one waiting for us. It was several hours of drinking and by the time the plane lands, I can barely walk. And me and this woman are getting all touchy feely and chatting the whole time and having the time of our lives. My friend, in the mean time, is sick as a dog (fever, nausea) and is having the most miserable flight ever. And I am oblivious. I don't think I said a word to him the whole flight, not that he was in a talking mood. After a few hours, I didn't even realize he was there. I was just the worst friend possible. Drunk as hell and totally focused on this woman and not even cognizant of the fact that my friend is going through hell. When the flight lands, we're saying goodbye to each other, and she writes her phone number down, gives it to me and tells me to call. So I pocket it and figure that's it. We get off the plane and her fiance is waiting for her past the gate. My friend and I keep walking toward the baggage claim and we're a real pair. He feels like hell and just wants to get home because he is afraid he's going to puke. I am so drunk that I need him to make sure I don't fall down. We get to the baggage claim and as we are waiting, the whole airport is spinning around to me, and the woman from the flight comes up to me with her fiance and she kisses me--in front of him!!!!--and says goodbye again. My friend said the poor bastard was looking at me, like "who the hell is that?!?!?!" Anyhow, this is where you all get to call me a pussy... I never called her. Sober, I decided I didn't want any part of whatever was going on there. My friend and I decided she was just pissed at her fiance and I helped her make her point.
     
    The Big Ragu, Dec 19, 2006
    #43
  8. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Nah. That's a good story. We wouldn't call you a pussy for that; there are so many more reasons... :D
     
    slappy4428, Dec 19, 2006
    #44
  9. devils_claw

    devils_claw Member

    agreed. especially for parents who encourage/allow their children to do it.
     
    devils_claw, Dec 20, 2006
    #45
  10. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Try making the 20-plus-hour trip from Lagos to San Francisco, via Heathrow, while racked with malaria fever and chloroquinine cramps.
    One of the most unpleasant experiences of my life.
     
    Buck, Dec 20, 2006
    #46
  11. OTD

    OTD Well-Known Member

    Just think of the poor shlub sitting next to you.
     
    OTD, Dec 20, 2006
    #47
  12. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Yeah, think about it. For one flight, you were THAT guy
     
    slappy4428, Dec 20, 2006
    #48
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