Do I have to quit?

I constantly heard that. God that pissed me off.

 

My last boss was very pissed off that I wasn't excited about trudging through a blizzard to get to work. I did it, but apparently I was supposed to be excited about it because that's what being a journalist is all about.

 

I used to be one of those who thought "Man. This job is pretty sweet. I can't imagine ever wanting to do something else."

Then, I realized I value my life away from work way more than my life at work. Hell, the only time my wife and I could actually go out and do something together was Saturday and Sunday nights. Throw kids into the mix? No thanks.

I also came to realize that not every job outside of journalism sucks. That helped.

 

For those who don't have children yet, just to let you know, as wonderful as they are, holy shit are they difficult. If you think that it will be no thang to balance weird hours, a working spouse, and a toddler or two, think again. Not saying you should quit the job. Just letting you know that things change, and they change monumentally.

 

You can know in your head, but you can't really feel the impact of it until you have one and suddenly realize that one of you has to be home 24/7, or you have to make arrangements ahead of time.

 

I had possession of my two nephews (ages 5 and 3) for less than two hours last weekend after the 5-year-old's T-Ball game. My wife and I took them for burgers and fries after the game and drove them home.

Oy. Felt like 8 hours.

 

The craziest thing is having to ask permission to take the garbage down or take a piss to make sure everything is covered.

"Honey, is it OK if I take a dump right now? Great! Thanks!"

 

Back when I was a young pup, my former boss, who is on the board, asked me which did I love more, the wife or the work. I said, the work. Crazy, I know.

He strongly advised me to get my priorities in order. I got divorced a few months later.


I'm on the cusp of marriage No. 2, but I agree with our production chief here about priorities:
"Like your job, love your wife."

Sounds good to me. This is a job. I enjoy it, but it's a job. It's not my life. Nor should it be your all-consuming passion. Going home alone every night sucks.

 

Beadie not treating you well?

 

You don't have to quit. You have choices, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

To listen to some here, finding anything is better than journalism ... pays better, better hours, better supervisors. Not necessarily so.

If possible, look before leaping. Life after journalism has worked for many, but not all. And, by all means, if you think she's worth it, leap. If given a good personal situation and support system, I would. And I'm a loner by nature.

Those poor kids. Were you yourself by failing to dominate a crabcake sandwich in their presence?

 

Two pieces of advice a former colleague in an education class (we were all adults already in careers seeking to get teachers' licenses) said has stuck with me a lot, because I was once one of those dyed-in-the-wool "I can't imagine doing anything else" people.

1. You are replaceable.
2. The company does not love you. You do not need to love it.

Your family loves you. Your company does not. Priority -- family, business. You work to help yourself put food on the table and a roof over the heads of people you love, and because you spend about 1/3 of your waking hours doing it, you better be doing something you enjoy. But when push comes to shove, your family is most important.

I got out of full-time journalism for my family, and it's the best decision I've ever made. I work normal hours, I have (at least for now) a stable salary and I can still freelance to my heart's content. Even have had the chance to start my own small business on the side.

 

Burgers, Sam. BURGERS!!!

And yes, I finished it!