DIVORCE

Oh, and I forgot to add earlier:

Figure out a way to fuck her sister.

 

Wow, I had no idea you were female...lol.

 

Best answer on the thread!

Angola, do you have children?

 

He doesn't.

 

No guarantees, but getting through it can make you (and her) stronger. Mine happened a long time ago, fairly early in the marriage, and while it hasn't been easy on some levels, forming a reasonable post-divorce relationship has been one of my more important accomplishments. And I echo the thought to take some time and not jump back into the dating pool just because. You'll know when it's time.

 

it was nearly eight years ago this may when my ex-wife told me she wanted me out. and it was the best thing she ever did for me. it was no fun at the time. it sucked, and i was crushed. had trouble sleeping and eating, and it very much consumed my thoughts. i didn't want the marriage to end (at that time). i was oblivious to larger problems and didn't see it coming. a month or so before, she came down to the final four with me. on the way back, we stopped to visit my folks who were vacationing in hilton head. while it wasn't a perfect marriage, i didn't think it was horrible either (at that time).

it's likely everything you're going through is normal and unavoidable. i started doing things i wanted to do - going to more concerts, hiking, fly-fishing, camping, traveling to see friends. it gets better - maybe not as soon as you would like but it does. i immersed myself in activities, including work.

i can almost pinpoint the moment in time where i felt good about myself, the divorce and my future. i was streamside on a river outside of aspen ... i had just caught a few rainbow trout ... my buddy and his wife showed up after they got done working and he got out his portable grill ... i cleaned and grilled the trout ... we drank a few beers ... enjoyed the scenery, the company, the friendship ... we were headed to red rocks the next day for some music. it is one of the top five moments in my life. life was good, again. it didn't hurt that women were interested in hanging out.

i eventually met a woman, fell in love and married again. and it's been an absolute joy. she communicates with me, encourages me to go fly-fishing, camping and hiking and doesn't try stifle who i am. and encourage her to do the things that make her happy without my participation.

i was far from a perfect husband the first time around, and i'm not a perfect one today. whatever faults i had the first time, i've at least recognized them and tried to do better. and there are just some things i do for my wife today because i want to make her happy. that wasn't always the case with my ex-wife. it was a mistake for the two of us to get married. that happens. we didn't have kids, so that didn't complicate matters. as we moved closer to divorce after a lengthy separation, my ex had a change of heart and wanted to work it out, stay married. i recognized what was best for me. and mostly likely, it was best for her, too.

i can't even compare the two marriages for the difference in happiness is not even comparable. eight years has flown by and yet that life seems like a lifetime ago.

 

moddy, i was married 18 months and we dated four years prior to marriage. we first started dating in high school (i was a year older and we went to different high schools). she went to the same college i did, but we really didn't date much in college - basically friends with the occasional hookup. after college, we started dating and it became serious. we figured since we remained friends all that time and after dating other people, we still came back to each other, that it made sense to get married. it seemed to be the thing to do.

in hindsight, i see things that should have tipped me off - namely when standing outside the church prior to walking in for my wedding, some guy drives by in his pickup and yells, "don't do it buddy." my best man said all my guy friends knew the marriage shouldn't have happened - but there's only so much they can do.

 

eharmony.com may help you. This weekend they are running free membership and get this, there is a ratio I think around 7 to 1 of women wanting men.
If your shit is halfway together, you should do well.

 

I definitely got married too young (I was 19, she was 20). I tell people to wait till they're at least 25 before making that kind of commitment. We lasted six years which is longer than most people gave us. The last couple of years was because we were so determined to make it work. In the end we decided we were better being friends than spouses. We had just resigned for another year in our apartment when we decided to split. Fortunately it was a two bedroom unit so we were roommates for a year. We're still great friends to this day. Well, there was a weird moment a couple of years back. Supposedly when we split we made an agreement that if neither of had remarried by the time we turned 35 then WE would get remarried to each other. We were both 35 for exactly eight days. She was out of the country during those eight days.

 

Nobody should get married before 30. It should be a law.