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Difficult Life Decisions

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Rhody31, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    My sister is a junkie. Bad.
    She's been on and off heroin for about two years, in and out of rehabs like a Hollywood startlet. The last two months have been great - it looked like she was clean, she was on the proper meds (emptying her bank account as she has no health insurance) - so great, that I put her on my car insurance so she could start driving herself around again.
    Until last night.
    I was watching the Sox game, then some DVR'd shows when she got in. We live at home (my weekly job in this high-priced state doesn't allow me to live alone, so I live rent-free with the 'rents, helping out around the house to make up for my lack of rent as I save money, same as my sister) and she popped her head in to say goodnight and went to bed. I knew something was up - I figured she was drunk or high (she also smokes pot, which I don't have a problem with).
    Fifteen minutes later I went upstairs to bed, saw the bathroom light on and her bedroom door open. I figured she was getting ready for bed. I knocked, said "Hey, you going to be long, I need to get in there."
    No answer. I put my ear up to the door. I heard snoring. I figured she must have been wasted and passed out.
    I took my contacts out and grabbed a spare toothbrush and brushed downstairs and got dressed. The upstairs bathroom was still locked, she was still snoring. I got worried.
    I picked the lock of the door - fairly simple thing to do - and opened the door. She was passed out. I laughed to myself, nudged her with my foot a couple times and told her to get up.
    She did, mumbled something I didn't understand and looked at me.
    I have never seen a dead body that wasn't made up at the funeral home, but I imagine a fresh dead body's face looks eerily similar to the look I saw.
    I looked on the counter. There was a film case with a tiny opened baggie and one still tied up with a cream-colored powder in it. I don't use drugs - I smoked pot here and there in college, but it made me paranoid, so I avoid it - but I've seen enough TV to know, or have an idea, of what heroin looks like.
    She passed out on the floor, still breathing, still snoring. I grabbed the drugs, woke my mother up and we checked on her again. We had no idea what to do.
    In times past, I've told my parents to call the cops. They never do and my sister goes to rehab, comes out clean and things are good 'til she gets back on the drugs.
    I couldn't deal with it. I called the cops, told them the situation and they asked if they wanted me to have her picked up. My parents and I consented.
    It was, easily, one of the hardest things I've ever seen. I don't think she realized the severity of what she's been doing to herself until she had an officer's flashlight in her face. Listening her tell the cops how much she dislikes them, listening to her lie about her drug use killed me and when she realized she was going to be arrested, the fear in her voice was like nothing I've heard before.
    They took her away about 2 a.m. and I called my girlfriend and talked to her for about 20 minutes. I couldn't tell you a speck of our conversation. I was still in shock.
    When I woke up this morning at 7, I talked to my mom briefly and we both said the same thing - did that really happen?
    I'm destroyed inside right now. I don't know if what I did was right. I mean, she's family. She's my sister. No matter how effed up she is, I will always love her. I don't want to see her throwing what's left of her life away, but I don't think she understood how damaging her drug use was, is, until she her the clicks of the handcuffs.
    I come to SportsJournalists.com to vent, get this off my chest, but I can't help feeling like I did something wrong.
    Hoepfully, things will work out and one day, she'll forgive me for having her arrested.
    Thanks for listening.
  2. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    As we say down here, "You done good."

    Sometimes even the Dr. Phil-style interventions don't work and more drastic measures are required.
  3. You didn't do anything wrong; you were just trying to get your sister better. I hope for your sister's sake, this does what rehab was unable to do.
  4. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

    Sometimes doing the right thing hurts like hell.

    You did the right thing. You've tried rehab, you've tried having 'the talk' and you've tried trusting her. Sometimes a big slap in the face from a neutral party like the police will help. I hope so in this case.

    Stay strong.
  5. poindexter

    poindexter Well-Known Member

    Hoepfully, things will work out and one day, she'll forgive me for having her arrested.

    Stop with that shit. She'll forgive you?

    She should have had a boot up her ass years ago.
  6. Rosie

    Rosie Active Member

    Rhody, don't for a minute second-guess what you did.

    You did the right thing.

    It's hard, very hard, to watch someone you love destroy lives with drug use. You are going to have to be strong for your parents' sake, because as difficult as this is for you, it's going to be doubly difficult for them.

    Prayers for you, your family and your sister.
  7. rallen13

    rallen13 Member

    Sleep well tonight, Rhody, you did the right thing. If she was drowing or trapped in a burning hous you would rush to save her. You did that last night. 20 years from now, when she sits down next to you at Thanksgiving, or send syou a birthday card or gives you a niece or nephew, you will remember the night in 2007 when you saved her life from drugs. You are the real kind of hero.
  8. jgmacg

    jgmacg Guest

    You did the right thing. Be proud of yourself and stay strong.

    And if she's still smoking pot or drinking when she comes out of rehab, then the rehab hasn't worked. You're either sober, or you're not. There's no in-between.
  9. StormSurge

    StormSurge Active Member

    Rhody, good call.

    I can only imagine the pain you felt & are feeling, but as everyone else here has said, you did the right thing.

    Best of luck...
  10. Flash

    Flash Guest

    Jeepers, Rhody. I can't imagine your agony. Best of luck and stay strong.
  11. Batman

    Batman Well-Known Member

    Good job, Rhody. As others have said, you did the right thing. Hopefully it sticks.


    From other parts of your story it seems like you've also been enabling a little bit, which has to stop immediately:

    • Hoepfully, things will work out and one day, she'll forgive me for having her arrested?
    You're still trying to be oh-so-nice to her when you and your family need to be stern and make her realize there are consequences for things she does. Be supportive. Be there to help. But don't let her think she can use you, or your sympathy, to continue the destructive behavior or it WILL continue.

    • I knew something was up - I figured she was drunk or high (she also smokes pot, which I don't have a problem with).
    If she's a heroin addict, she doesn't need to be smoking pot or getting drunk. You can argue about the severity of each type of drug, but the fact is that using those can lead her back to heroin. She gets high or drunk, and all of a sudden her will is eroded and the logic function is gone. It leads to bad decisions. When you're a recovering addict, you can't pick and choose what mind-altering substances are OK and which aren't. None should be acceptable, for you or her.
  12. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member


    It has to be the worst feeling in the entire world. But know that you did the right thing. If she wants to yell or scream or pretend you don't exist becuse of this, let her. She will eventually figure it out (I hope) and will come to realize that you gave her the equivalent of CPR.

    Good Job. You saved a life last night.
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