1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Did you hear the one about the ...

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Write-brained, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. man on death row who wants everyone to laugh at his execution so he solicited for jokes to read beforehand?

    "He wants to keep his execution light."


    A Texas man scheduled to be executed on Tuesday wants to die laughing.

    Patrick Knight, 39, has been soliciting jokes on the Internet and plans to tell one of them before receiving a lethal injection, Texas Department of Criminal Justice spokeswoman Michelle Lyons said on Monday.

    "He says he wants to keep his execution light," she said.

    Knight was sentenced to die for the August 1991 murder of his two elderly neighbors in Amarillo, Texas.

    Lyons said a friend of Knight's set up a page on the social networking Web site MySpace.com to solicit jokes, and "hundreds" of suggestions have arrived in the mail.

    "I'll be enjoying my last days on Earth," Knight wrote on the Web site. "I'm not asking for pen pals, but I'm asking you to spread the word that I am holding a contest. I want people to send me their best jokes, and to keep me and others with (execution) dates laughing."

    Texas leads the nation with 396 executions. None of those put to death have ever joked about it, Lyons said.

    While she says Knight will be allowed to tell his joke, none of his executioners in the state death chamber at the Walls prison unit in Huntsville, Texas will be laughing, Lyons said.

    "Everybody who is there takes it very seriously and will not be participating in the joke," she said. "So knock-knock jokes are out."
  2. Shaggy

    Shaggy Guest

    "So knock-knock jokes are out."

    Great ending to the story. Awesome.
  3. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    I can imagine this isn't quite as funny to the families of the people he murdered.

    What the fuck is wrong with the people sending this guy jokes?
  4. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    I worked with Michelle prior to her heading to TDCJ, and while I know she won't be laughing, the thought of her saying that quote to the media made me chuckle.

    Still, makes me wonder if someone should have cracked a joke on him as the juice started flowing into this guy's arm. http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/statistics/deathrow/drowlist/knight.jpg

    And for the record, here was his statement...no joke:

    "Yes, I do. I thank the Lord for giving me my friends, for getting me the ones I love. Lord reach down and help innocent men on death row. Lee Taylor needs help, Bobby Hines, Steve Woods. Not all of us are innocent, but those are. Cleve Foster needs help. Melyssa, I love you girl. I know I wasn't going to say anything, but I've got to. Jack, Irene, Danny, Doreen, I love you guys. I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That's the biggest joke, I deserve this. And the other joke is I am not Patrick Bryan Knight, and ya'll can't stop this execution now. Go ahead, I'm finished. Come on, tell me Lord. I love you Melyssa, take care of that little monster for me."
  5. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    I do not believe in the death penalty, so I will withhold my comment of "The only thing I want to hear him say is GURGLE GURGLE."
  6. Just_An_SID

    Just_An_SID Active Member

    Knock, Knock.

    Who's There?

    Lethal Injection

    Lethal Injection Who?

    Not Lethal Injection Who, just Lethal Injection That's Going To End This Knock, Knock session.
  7. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Knock, Knock.

    Who's There?


    Alive Who?

    Not you.

    Sorry...couldn't resist.
  8. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    A murderer sitting in the electric chair is about to be executed.

    The chaplain asks, "Do you have any last requests?"

    "Yes," replies the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
  9. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    OK...that was pretty funny.
  10. Damn funny.
  11. boots

    boots New Member

    The last thing he wanted to say was "there's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!"
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page