Did you hear the one about the ...

man on death row who wants everyone to laugh at his execution so he solicited for jokes to read beforehand?

"He wants to keep his execution light."

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2531413420070626?feedType=RSS

A Texas man scheduled to be executed on Tuesday wants to die laughing.

Patrick Knight, 39, has been soliciting jokes on the Internet and plans to tell one of them before receiving a lethal injection, Texas Department of Criminal Justice spokeswoman Michelle Lyons said on Monday.

"He says he wants to keep his execution light," she said.

Knight was sentenced to die for the August 1991 murder of his two elderly neighbors in Amarillo, Texas.

Lyons said a friend of Knight's set up a page on the social networking Web site MySpace.com to solicit jokes, and "hundreds" of suggestions have arrived in the mail.

"I'll be enjoying my last days on Earth," Knight wrote on the Web site. "I'm not asking for pen pals, but I'm asking you to spread the word that I am holding a contest. I want people to send me their best jokes, and to keep me and others with (execution) dates laughing."

Texas leads the nation with 396 executions. None of those put to death have ever joked about it, Lyons said.

While she says Knight will be allowed to tell his joke, none of his executioners in the state death chamber at the Walls prison unit in Huntsville, Texas will be laughing, Lyons said.

"Everybody who is there takes it very seriously and will not be participating in the joke," she said. "So knock-knock jokes are out."

 

"So knock-knock jokes are out."

Great ending to the story. Awesome.

 

I can imagine this isn't quite as funny to the families of the people he murdered.

What the fuck is wrong with the people sending this guy jokes?

 

I worked with Michelle prior to her heading to TDCJ, and while I know she won't be laughing, the thought of her saying that quote to the media made me chuckle.

Still, makes me wonder if someone should have cracked a joke on him as the juice started flowing into this guy's arm. http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/statistics/deathrow/drowlist/knight.jpg

And for the record, here was his statement...no joke:

"Yes, I do. I thank the Lord for giving me my friends, for getting me the ones I love. Lord reach down and help innocent men on death row. Lee Taylor needs help, Bobby Hines, Steve Woods. Not all of us are innocent, but those are. Cleve Foster needs help. Melyssa, I love you girl. I know I wasn't going to say anything, but I've got to. Jack, Irene, Danny, Doreen, I love you guys. I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That's the biggest joke, I deserve this. And the other joke is I am not Patrick Bryan Knight, and ya'll can't stop this execution now. Go ahead, I'm finished. Come on, tell me Lord. I love you Melyssa, take care of that little monster for me."

 

I do not believe in the death penalty, so I will withhold my comment of "The only thing I want to hear him say is GURGLE GURGLE."

 

Knock, Knock.

Who's There?

Lethal Injection

Lethal Injection Who?

Not Lethal Injection Who, just Lethal Injection That's Going To End This Knock, Knock session.

 

Knock, Knock.

Who's There?

Alive

Alive Who?

Not you.


Sorry...couldn't resist.

 

OK...that was pretty funny.

 

Damn funny.

 

The last thing he wanted to say was "there's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!"