Did you have an Ashley Madison account?

I see what you are saying, that wondering ain't cheating, and that given a long enough relationship, everyone wonders. I certainly have nothing on a decades-long marriage, but I've definitely wondered and even been tempted in my long-term relationships, including the one I am in now.

I think I phrased what I was trying to say above poorly. I think, when you pull up, sign on and register to a website designed to cheat, you are going one step past wondering. I can wonder in my head all day what it would be like to be with the girl who sits near me in the office, maybe even ponder if it would be possible. But the second I try to find her phone number in the office directory, it goes a step past wondering and toward active pursuit.

Thoughts are one thing, and often they are uncontrollable. But I can control whether or not I peruse the fembots on Ashley Madison.

Also, let me make it clear I'm not trying to come off as a saint. I'm as guilty of the wandering eyes and wondering thoughts as just about every guy. But I do think there is a difference between that and logging on to Ashley Madison.

 

Yep, it absolutely is.

I have no tolerance for anything like this.

 

I don't know what he was doing with the account, but I can tell you for a fact she was not amused.

 

I can see signing up for it out of some sort of journalistic curiosity, like, "OK, I've seen the billboards. I've heard the hype. Is this for real?"

 

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at and what I was referring to.

 

I can see that, too, but I wouldn't expect my wife or girlfriend to believe/understand it, so I'd avoid signing up. Discretion being the better part of valor and all that.

 

In that case, I'd fully expect to be told about it well in advance and physically be in the room when it happens. I'd probably insist on having the log-in information as well.

 

The Pete Townshend defense.

 

You don't think a wife or girlfriend would buy the "But honey, I'm a journalist" excuse?

 

Not sure I'd get past "But ..."

 

Gotta work better than the truth...

 

My wife would be all like, "just because you post on that dumb message board, doesn't make you a journalist. Did you miss all the times riptide and Jay Farrar pointed this out to you?"