Did I miss this becoming socially acceptable?

So I'm at a basketball game, and as I set myself up on press row, I see a writer from a smaller publication that I've known for years. Great guy...worked briefly in the same place and still live in the same town, so we see each other now and then and exchange pleasantries.

Anyway, he sidles up to me, shakes my hand and asks how I've been doing. Then comes this:

"Man, you've gotten fat!"

My standing there with my mouth wide open, blinking several times probably led him to keep the conversation going with "I mean, it looks like you've gained some pounds. So how are things going?"

I'm still stuck on the initial comment here. It's like there's a DJ in my head, and he's scratching a record so that all I hear is "Man, you've gotten fat!" over and over and over.

Now, for the sake of foundation, I'll mention that I'm in the gym three to five days a week working with both weights and cardio, I avoid fast food and am well under the 200-pound mark. Looking absolutely svelte would be a chore for me since I'm pretty short, but there are waaayyy more people in this business you'd rather not see naked than me.

This, for all intents and purposes, put my day in a blender and set it on 'liquify.' I mean, was this just an attempt at "guy to guy" teasing? I mean, if it was, cool, but I don't do the teasing thing. I don't even poke fun at my closest friends if they, like, mess up their wardrobe or something. I just think that's reserved for third grade. And even barring that, I don't know this guy that well...certainly not enough to warrent crap like that.

I mean, I know it's not a horrid insult. But I'd wager that "Man, you've gotten fat!" ranks somewhere above "What's with that faggy haircut, dude?" and somewhere below "Dang, man, maybe if your son had a quicker first step he'd have avoided that drunk driver."

I have no idea where people pick up social custom sometimes.

 

Maybe he meant phat?

 

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

To me, the situation you described indicates a lack of social awareness. I mean, if you guys had been drinking buddies and were prone to kid that way, it's one thing. But if you're more professional acquaintances than anything else, this seems to cross a line somewhere. I'd have to fight the urge to respond in kind.

 

Wow. Thanks for setting the wheels in motion in my "Sportswriters I'd Rather Not See Naked" mental ranking. Always a nice sleigh-ride of dread to go to that hellish corner of my mind.

Incidentally, I too think there's a lot more sportswriters people would rather not see naked than me. Two words ... supple ass.

 

He's an ass for saying it. Weight, wives and dead mothers are off limits for teasing. My money says he was trying to be chummy and the wrong thing spilled out of his mouth. Raise your hand if you've never said anything you wanted to roll up and cram back down your throat. No one? That's what I thought.

Still, you know you're not fat, so let it roll off. Don't let someone's thoughtless comment put a dent in your self-image.

 

He does sound like an ass -- specifically, a socially retarded ass.

I don't think that's socially acceptable at all. Don't worry, it's not just you.

 

Oh, the temptation was there. When he asked me about where I was living these days, I told him about my house and he responded with "You have a house? You didn't get married, did you?"

What I wanted to says was "No, because of this ungodly bag of meat that spills over my belt and eclipses my dick, no woman in her right mind would allow me to climb atop and hump away with my sweaty, wheezing, blubbery thrusts. In fact, I'm so fat, my doctor said I can't even masturbate to pornography, because it could lead to a heart attack. So really, all I'm doing these days is coming home to my living room, eating cake-frosting-and-peanut-butter sandwiches and playing a few sessions of World of Warcraft before crying myself to sleep silently. But of course I have to sleep on my side, since if I did so on my back my lungs would collapse under the sheer weight of my own lipidy girth.

 

Hey lardass, lighten up. He was just kidding. In fact, he probably has a man crush on you and is just trying to defuse the obvious sexual conflict going on in his head. : 8) ;D

 

We need Whitlock's input on this.

 

I'm not sure I want to bet you anymore.