Dick will make you slap somebody....(NSFW)

Grrlhack....you know where I'm at!

BBAM....glad I could be of service

 

This is the female Tim Meadows...

"Yes, sir, it says your hobbies are debit?"
"Uh, yeahhhh, that's da butt..."

 

OMFG, priceless from about 3:40 to 4:25.

 

What d'ya mean, this isn't about Cheney?

 

They said Dick will make you slap somebody, not they will make you shoot someone.

 

My wife knocked me the fuck out just a few days ago. Now I understand why.

 

Does it seem to anyone else that she's just talking out of her ass and making this shit up as she goes?

 

So Shaggy, you're wife didn't knock you out?

 

Hysterical.

 

So, after many beers and watching that clip again, I'm sitting here with the TV on, and one of those commercials for those chat lines comes on, and I get a crazy idea. I call, and you get your first 20 minutes or so for free, so when I find out you can record a 2-minute personal ad that everyone can hear, I use the best 2 minutes of the video ... and when people on the other end hear it, they never hear my voice -- just the woman on the video, right off the bat.

Here are the best reactions I got before my time ran out:

The first, from a woman in her 30s, whose speaking style I've attempted to approximate phonetically, so your ear can "hear" how she replied:

What dee hay-ell?? I like that. You know I'm not gay or anything, but she's just speaking some facts and stuff. What is dat? Whoever you izzz or whatevuh, send me a message back and let me know what dat is. OK? Cuz, see, that is just straight representin' -- and I like all of that, so get back at yo gurl and let her know what time it izz, OK? See? That ... that ... that ... that's what I'm talkin' 'bout ... that's just representin' for all ... OWull black women. So, what is that? Get back at yo girl and let her know. Is that a tape recordin' or whatevuh? Hey, I need that. Get at yo girl and let her know what time it is. OK? Aiight, and I'm out.

So, after her message plays to me, I tell her it came from the computer.

Well, tell me the Web site or whatever you went on or howwever, cuz I need all that, OK? And I don't mean no harm. I'm a black sistuh, see, and she just speakin' the facts and what's real, youknowI'mtalkin'bout, and that's just that, and I neeeeeed THAT. So give me that Web site, cuz I got (inaudible). So get back at me and let me know, OK? All right. Mmmhmm.


Then, a young lady in her early 20s responds:

Wow, that is really deep. Wowwwww. Wowwww. Anyways, who is this? Just curious. Are you the person playing the joke, or are you a guy or a girl watching that, cuz that was hilarious. So. Holl-ah!

She never replies to my reply.

Then, another girl who sounded like late teens, early 20s:

You know what? I'll agree with you, because about three nights ago, I did the same thing. I didn't slap him, though; I forgot where I was. And to be honest, it wasn't a good place to do all that, but I do agree with you, and that is a very good story. Thank you.

grrlhack, next time we are in the same press box, remind me to play these for you. I saved them on my digital recorder.

;D

Sincerely,

Semi-Drunk JD

 

;D

 

I couldn't make it past the first minute of this clip. Didn't hold my interest.