"destination weddings"

[Moe Syslak voice]

"Yeah, Hello. I need an escort."

"To where? How about Orgasmville?"

"Hello? Hello?"

 

If I end up going, they're sure as hell not getting a gift.

I'm single with no kids, so the only person who'd suffer should I piss away hundreds of dollars would be me. If I was trying to raise kids on this salary, I'd tell my niece to pound sand without the slightest hesitation. No way would a kid of mine go to school this fall decked out in Wal Mart instead of JC Penney just because my niece needed my face in the crowd.

Thanks for the input and please, anyone else feel free to chime in. This particular situation isn't one I'm used to negotiating. There hasn't been a wedding in my family since I've been an adult.

Knowing them as I do, I know they think they're doing me a favor by giving me an excuse to Jackson Hole (that's the spot) in September. I love the mountains, but I have no desire to go to Jackson Hole. I live near the southern Rockies and those are just fine for me.

They don't really respect my mom or I, in general. They think my mom's a flake, which she is, but instead of regarding my mom's plight with compassion, they're contemptuous. As for me, they think I'm a lunatic because I went to a fancy college and instead of using my degree to accumulate wealth, I've "wasted" my education by being a journalist.

Fucking shallow, pretentious Dallas people. Those are my roots, but there are many reasons I bolted that plastic shithole as soon as I graduated high school and haven't lived there since.

 

You can't afford it. End of story. It really is that simple.

 

Then you know what? Save your sanity and don't go. If it's a hardship to get there, and you don't like their company, don't go. The only reason to go would be if you mother asks for your presence to keep her company.

For years I had an uncle who would "drop in" at family events for an hour or two and then split. I could never figure out why he did that. Until I became an adult and realized how fucked-up that side of the family was.

As an adult I've avoided a few family functions on that side. Sure, that makes me a black sheep, but my blood pressure is down and overall contentment up.

Other side of the family, the people I like? I've driven seven hours in a snowstorm to be at a family event.

WI, if you're so worried that these people will be the "only family left" at some point, work on building up a solid "family" of friends. It's not the exact same, but it's better for you.

 

Oh, and if you go, no present required. But if you don't go, send something.

And if you really want to piss them off, send them something that's not on their registry!

 

Given the financial burden these self-centered twits are putting on you and your mother, and reading your last post, why are you even thinking about going?

"Sorry, can't make it. Wish you great happiness. All the best, etc. etc. etc."

 

I call BS on most of that. Most destination weddings are intentionally kept small for both logistical and practical purposes. My last one was at Ponte Vedra and there weren't 25 of us at the rehearsal dinner or in the beautiful little chapel there.

 

If money is going to be tight, don't go. Simple as that. Send a gift that you can afford, not one to make up for your not being there.

 

Don't go, and don't worry about it.

 

Outside of my family and our wedding bridesmades-groomsmen, I remember one person who came to our wedding.

Everyone else? A blur.

If you can't afford it, do not go.

That doesn't make you "poor." It means you're smart enough to realize $600 is a lot.

 

Tell your niece you'll pass but if she promises to have her second wedding closer to home, you'll be there.

She also sounds like a self centred little brat with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement so I'd say the over/under on this marriage is five years.