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Design Your Perfect Bar

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by 3_Octave_Fart, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. Bruce Leroy

    Bruce Leroy Active Member

    Alcohol: Somewhere around 20 beers on tap, all of them craft. Flights of beer. A couple of schwag light options in bottles but pricier than other bars on the cheap beer. A shit ton of bourbon options. Flights of bourbon. A handful of top-notch scotch and Irish whiskey options. No ultra-bottom-shelf stuff as the well options, so Evan Williams as your well bourbon, Seagram's as your gin and so on.

    TV/Music: At least five flat screens, three of them behind the bar. The ability to have the three flat screens behind the bar on different channels instead of being synced to the same one. Volume on for big games, and someone putting money in the jukebox won't trump the TV volume. A jukebox of only funky music, so your options are funk, old school hip hop, early '80s electro funk, '70s soul and jazz, blues and R&B, along with some songs from other genres that meet the minimum funk requirement.

    And nothing but sports on the TVs, so I suppose the best sports package possible. Saturday and Sunday morning specials for the soccer crowd. Baseball only when no other sporting events are televised, so it takes a back seat to any football, basketball or soccer games.

    Food: Killer nachos. At least five different burgers, pattied in-house, including a bacon-and-bleu burger and a burger with onion rings, sauteed mushrooms and BBQ sauce. Authentic Mexican tacos, with the corn tortillas and only meat, cilantro and onions on the tacos. Wings that are small and crispy instead of ridiculously huge and way too wet. A soup of the day for each day of the week, all made in-house, plus chili and potato soup for every day. Homemade fries/saratoga chips, homemade mac and cheese and locally grown sauteed veggies as the side options.

    Ambiance: Dim lighting. Not too big of a space, maybe enough room for 50 people. A sit-down Pac-Man machine. Maybe a dartboard or two. A back patio that's smoker-friendly, be it cigarettes or weed. So I guess I wouldn't make any money off YF. Bartenders who have the freedom to make strong drinks for regulars and big tippers but enough monitoring of the bartenders that they're not handing out free drinks to everyone.

    Cops: I like the idea of having them around in case anything happens, but it would have to be cops I knew somehow so it could be made clear they're not to harass the weed smokers out back if they happen to smell anything.
     
  2. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Good food, good alcohol

    Ambiance: stage, brass poles, all nude

    Champagne room

    bowling alley
     
  3. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    What I like in a bar as a patron is very different from what I would like in a bar as an owner.
     
  4. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Soccer bar. Watch all of the games. Soccer fans absolutely love to drink with one another. Part of the experience.
     
  5. heyabbott

    heyabbott Well-Known Member

    perv bar with waitresses dressed like catholic school girls and cheerleaders?
     
  6. YankeeFan

    YankeeFan Well-Known Member

    148 whiskeys, great beer selection, and a Michelin star

    http://www.longmanandeagle.com/drink/

    You can even rent a room.
     
  7. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    AKA The Tilted Kilt?
     
  8. 3_Octave_Fart

    3_Octave_Fart Well-Known Member

    With a Scotch-Irish accent, not that of parochial school.
    There's a subtle distinction to be made.
     
  9. Bradley Guire

    Bradley Guire Well-Known Member

    I'd open up a shit hole, call Bar Rescue, go on TV, get the bar revamped on the sponsors' dime. I may or may not have binge watched that show this week.
     
  10. waterytart

    waterytart Active Member

    It's not a good bar unless there's someone who can take a bet on a game for you. The cops also have to ignore this or, preferably, place their own bets.
     
  11. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    The problem with wink wink, nudge nudge cops is that they get in deep shit if it's ever discovered that they knew illegal shit was going down and they never made a sound. Gambling is easy to cover. Pot isn't. The moment a) a non-regular gets a whiff and calls the cops, and b) it's revealed cops have been there all this time and they've been all smell no evil about it, it's an absolute shit show and not only will you probably get shut down, you'll blow it for all the other bars that have cops hang out on the regular because now they're having to act completely above board in all ways in the wake of said shit show.

    If weed's that big a deal, hoof it to Colorado or wait for it to go legal in your state.
     
  12. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    It'd be a bar/restaurant. Memphis style barbecue on one side, craft beer on the other.

    There'd be a beautiful bar with about 30 taps of stuff you've heard of (like Heady Topper, which is amazing by the way) and stuff you dream of (Pliney The Elder and Pliney The Younger). The world's best Bourbons would complete the package.

    The two sides would be completely different. We'd serve Southern beers and the best meat on the restaurant side and party on the other. It would have a Southern/Irish vibe.
     
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