"Dept. of Fertility" screenplay by Jeff Hawkins (short film)

“Dept. of Fertility”
Screenplay by Jeff Hawkins

SUPERIMPOSITION:
2017
Life has changed – faster and more dramatic than even the world’s brightest minds anticipated.
And nobody accomplished enough in the century’s first decade to prevent a fate we all share …

FADE IN:

INT. DECAYING GOVT. BUILDING HALLWAY – NEW YORK – DAY

Wearing wet shoes and walking into the U.S. DEPT. OF FERTILITY, the NEWLYWEDS, both in their early 20s and casually dressed, walk by TWO NEW YORK CITY WORKERS lugging sandbags over each shoulder toward the front door, which has the institution’s moniker painted clearly on its façade, EST. 2012. Leaving water behind in the form of footprints, HUSBAND hustles back, politely opening the door. Lumbering onward, neither worker takes a moment to express gratitude. They continue and exit to a splashing sound.

NYC WORKER 1
What’s the water level up to now, two … three feet? The union will not stand for much more.

NYC WORKER 2
Who gives a shit? All I know I’m fucking tired of filling sandbags all day.

NYC WORKER 1
You and everyone else. (Laughing) Pretty soon the Statue of Liberty will be under water.

Tall and thin with blonde hair and blue eyes, HUSBAND releases the door handle, allowing it to close with a bang. Slender and well-endowed, WIFE, a brunette, is watching, waiting impatiently. She is eager to get to the office.

Holding hands, TWO GAY MALES, wearing matching black shirts with bold font white lettering – JUST SAY GAY!, walk down the beige-walled, hard-tiled hallway. They are laughing. They are in love.

GAY MAN 1
Oh, Bob and Dan will be thrilled with the news. I can’t wait to call them.

GAY MAN 2
The absolute very first thing we must do is contact the Dept. of Adoption. You have the number, right?

GAY MAN 1
Of course silly.

WIFE
They must have been awarded the right to raise a child.

HUSBAND
You know the gays get all the breaks these days. Come on. Let’s see where we’re supposed to go.

The NEWLYWEDS, passed by another couple of happy homosexual males, approach a voice-sensitive screen on the wall.

WALL COMPUTER
What floor?

HUSBAND
Dept. of Fertility, application office.

WALL COMPUTER
Third floor, Room 222.

The NEWLYWEDS enter an elevator. The door closes.

INT. THIRD FLOOR, ADJACENT ROOM 222 – DAY

The elevator door opens. WIFE is intently reading a page of Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care. The paper-back book’s cover is ragged, stained and torn. The pages have turned yellow.

HUSBAND
What is that, the fourth or fifth time you’ve read that book?

WIFE, looking sternly, does not immediately reply. A few seconds expire.

WIFE
(Sensitively) You know how important this is to me.

HUSBAND
(Mumbling) More than a honeymoon?

WIFE
What’s that? Did you say something?

HUSBAND
… I, I said, I hope we hear something soon.

The NEWLYWEDS’ wet shoes squeak as they walk, the NEWLYWEDS approach Room 222. They open the glass door. An OFFICE WORKER goes about her chores, methodically, with no enthusiasm or drive.

INT. U.S. DEPT. OF FERTILITY APPLICATION OFFICE - DAY

The large office is virtually barren. There is one big oak desk sitting at the side, to the right of the scanner and adjacent to the hallway leading to the manager’s office. There are no windows in the room, no chairs for anyone to rest. A potted plant rests in the corner, under a surveillance camera. HUSBAND and WIFE walk in the room, briefly disturbing the morgue-like silence, except for a television positioned in the corner of the room, replaying government-funded propaganda. Only a few words are heard over the rickety, rusty fan blowing in the corner: “Couples are forever … same-sex partners … Just say …”

There is only one other couple in line, two women, holding hands, wearing pink versions of the fashionable “Just Say Gay!” T-shirts. Their number is called by a hoarse woman over a loudspeaker.

VOICE OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER
Number three.

The voice echoes.

The two women walk up, take turns placing their wrists under a scanner and follow an overweight lady, in her 60s and dressed in 1980s plaid, down the dark corridor, into the back room. The newlyweds approach to the white line.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Did you take a number?

HUSBAND looks around.

HUSBAND
(Sarcastically) No one else is here.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Sir, you need a number. When it’s called, we will be able to set up an interview.

Shaking his head, HUSBAND reaches out to grab a number from the dispenser, NO. 4. WIFE continues to read Dr. Spock’s advice.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Be careful, dear. You know that book is banned. I won’t call security on you this time. Just don’t let me see it again.

WIFE immediately packs the book in her purse. HUSBAND’S attention is turned to the TV in the corner, straining to hear the message: “… if your life ID number short-circuits, remember to have it re-programmed immediately … you are no one without your life ID number …”

HUSBAND takes a quick glance at his wrist, confirming his LIFE ID NUMBER is still active.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. DECAYING GOVERNMENT BUILDING HALLYWAY – DAY

Dressed in a ragged Armani suit, a GRAY-BEARDED MAN enters the building, sloshing his way down the hallway, leaving watery footprints from the entrance. Broadcasting his doomsday warnings, his shouts echo throughout the hallway, growing louder, more intense.

GRAY-BEARDED MAN
The artic circle is gone, flooding the East coast … one quarter of the earth’s animals are extinct … the ocean’s coral reefs are evaporating … worse of all, to keep mankind’s birthrate in check, the new government is mandating all puberty aged girls to have their tubes tied …”

INT. U.S. DEPT. OF FERTILITY APPLICATION OFFICE – DAY

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
There’s another one.

A woman in her 40s whose jewelry and dress reflect her want to still be in her 20s, DEPT. RECEPTIONST walks at a determined pace to the corner of the office, glancing quickly over her shoulder at the video camera in each corner of the room, she picks up the RED PHONE and hits one number.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Where is the guard? We have a disturbance down here. Don’t you hear it?

She hears a response.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Thank you. Make it quick.

She hangs up the phone and turns toward society’s cynic.

INT. DECAYING GOVERNMENT BUILDING HALLWAY – DAY

The shouts continue to grow louder. The GRAY-BEARDED MAN appears outside the door, peering at the newlyweds.

GRAY-BEARED MAN
You can forget about receiving a parenting license. You know why!

Spotting the security personnel dressed in similar fashion to Nazi SS, the GRAY-BEARDED MAN braces for the impact, speaking with increased cadence.

GRAY-BEARDED MAN
I once was a well-respected newscaster. Now look at me. Like everyone else living in cities, I suffer from Diarrhea-related diseases … my wife and little girl died of Dengue fever …

The officers nab the man and forcibly drag him down the hall, up a flight of stairs and into a dark corridor. The sound of a heavy door slams shut.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. U.S. DEPT. OF FERTILITY APPLICATION OFFICE – DAY

In the distance HUSBAND hears part of more propaganda: “Thanks to the work of Dr. Menstreal, women today can feel safe and secure with the operation … in and out surgery … when you are ready to be a mother, so are we …” HUSBAND turns to DEPT. RECEPTIONIST as wife squints as she stares into her purse, flipping a page of Dr. Spock’s book.

HUSBAND
Where are they taking him?

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
To the third floor. We won’t be bothered by the likes of him anymore. Dear, aren’t you glad I told you to put that book away?

WIFE does not reply, with words or action. She just looks down.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
It’ll be a few more minutes. Let me scan you in so I can begin the preliminary questionnaire.

The NEWLYWEDS extend their wrists. DEPT. RECEPTIONIST executes the scanning procedure and looks over at her 21-inch computer screen. She goes over the basic information.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Let’s see, I have your basic information, names, ages, blood types and life ID numbers. Oh, you two were married two hours ago. How exciting.

HUSBAND
This is our honeymoon.

WIFE looks sternly at HUSBAND.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
I just have to confirm the background info. I’ll be right back.

Laughing, the two lady lovers emerge gleefully from the back room. WIFE looks enviously at the women walking out of the office. WIFE hears them discuss their passion to adopt a little girl just before exiting.

DEPT. RECEPTIONIST
Congratulations and good luck.

LADY LOVER 1
Thanks. (Turning to her embraced mate) Let’s go right home, dry off our feet and pick a name.

The door shuts.

VOICE OVER THE LOUDSPEEKER
Number 4.

The NEWLYWEDS cross the white line and head into the dark corridor, 10 yards long, illuminated only by a light under the door. Suddenly, the door opens, revealing the silhouette of the DEPT. MANAGER. Dressed plainly, she is big, obese, with a deep voice.

INT. DEPT. MANAGER’S OFFICE - DAY

DEPT. MANAGER
Please, come in and have a seat.

HUSBAND
Thank you.

The NEWLYWEDS enter the office and sit down on the two chairs directly in front of the manager’s desk. The young couple looks and acts nervous.

DEPT. MANAGER
Welcome to the Dept. of Fertility. Now, WIFE, please hand over your copy of Dr. Spock’s book I witnessed you reading in the elevator and tried to hide in your purse. That is banned material. You’re lucky I don’t report you.

Reluctantly, WIFE retrieves the book from her purse and sets it on the desk.

DEPT. MANAGER
OK, now we can get started. Now, I’m sure you two are aware that the breakthrough in medical procedures five years ago allows women to have their tubes un-tied without fear of sterilization. Now then, why do you want to be parents?

WIFE
Being a mother is something I’ve always dreamed of - ever since I was a little girl …

DEPT. MANAGER
OK, that’s enough.

Typing in a program on her desktop computer displaying faces of thousands of parent-less children, DEPT. MANAGER looks disturbed.

DEPT. MANAGER
Have you considered adoption?

WIFE
No, I have the right to bear a child of my own!

DEPT. MANAGER

No you don’t! You are denied. (Stamping her paperwork) I hope your marriage will be a success. Thank you for coming in.

WIFE
(Offended) Is that it? One question I didn’t even get to answer.

DEPT. MANAGER
You will be eligible to re-submit a parenting license application in 10 years.

WIFE
Ten years?

DEPT. MANAGER
That is correct. Have a nice day.

The NEWLYWEDS rise out of their chairs and solemnly walk out the door and down the dark corridor.

INT. U.S. DEPT. OF FERTILITY APPLICATION OFFICE – DAY

The NEWLYWEDS do not say a word as they pass two homosexual couples, a pair of males and females, standing in line, behind the white tape. As the glass door shuts behind them, the NEWLYWEDS hear a familiar voice.

VOICE OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER
Number 5.

INT. DEPT. MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

After making the announcement, DEPT. MANAGER picks up Dr. Spock’s book. She opens it and reads a few words, before hearing a knock on the door. Instantaneously, she throws the book in the garbage.

INT. DECAYING GOVERNMENT BUILDING HALLWAY – DAY

The NEWLYWEDS walk down the hall. HUSBAND reaches out his hand, but WIFE keeps her arms folded around her waist. They reach the exit and step into two feet of water.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET – DAY

NYC WORKER 1
Hey, I need more bags of sand …

FADE OUT: