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Depression, Part VII

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by HandsomeHarley, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Rent a place across the street and start peddling drugs.
     
  2. fishhack2009

    fishhack2009 Active Member

    My thoughts are with you, Harley. As someone who has been through this more than once, my advice is to push dating to the back burner. Job one is for you and your kids to heal, and that needs your full attention for awhile.

    As far as letting everyone know ... I agree with Baron. No need to advertise. If it comes up, share the info.
     
  3. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    Hang in there, Harley. Just keep moving forward.

    And upon review, in my previous post on this thread, I said "a bad marriage is like a cancer ..."

    To be honest, I don't know that you had a bad marriage. In fact, that you still care for her and hope for good things for her, you probably had a better marriage than a lot of folks who are still married. But, for whatever reasons or circumstances, the marriage is now not what it once was.

    I guess what I'm using too many words to say is that I'm sorry for using "bad marriage." A lot of circumstances out of our control (job, health, pressures of finances, certainly depression, etc.) sometimes dictate that even once-good marriages end.

    Just keep moving forward and we're here for you.
     
  4. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    Bad, bad marriage.

    Great relationship with my kids.

    She acts like she can't stand to be around them most of the time, which is part of the problem.
     
  5. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Gee, thanks. :)

    Anyhoo, hang in there, Harley.
     
  6. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    I had that problem too. So I booted my wife and kept the kids.
     
  7. kingcreole

    kingcreole Active Member

    Harley - fight like hell for custody, assuming that's what you want. Fight. Like. Hell. I know a bit about your situation, and I know conventional wisdom says the mom gets the kids. But you're a much better dad than your ex is mother. that may not sound like much of a compliment, but do it. Fight for yourself throughout this process, and fight for what's right. You know what it is.
     
  8. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    The tough thing is, our boy has special needs, and his mother is the one who primarily takes care of all of his doctors, teachers, IEPs (whatever the hell that even means). I don't know -- maybe that's why she is the way she is.

    If I had a regular job, I would have taken him in a heartbeat. But I'm working such weird hours and the one thing he needs most is structure.

    Anyway, I allowed her to take him, fearing if I got him that she would want nothing to do with him. This way, at least I can still be a major part of his life, and her and I will get along better.

    Our daughter turned 18 last year and moved in with her boyfriend and his parents. Yes, she moved out because of mom. And while it's not the best situation (he's leaving in June for Marine bootcamp. I want her to go to juco on a soccer scholarship and get her education paid for before running off for good), but her boyfriend's parents treat her like gold.

    I am very close with both my son and daughter. My son doesn't even try to give mom a hug anymore. I think he's gotten tired of the rejection ("Ow, you're hurting me!" "Get off of me." etc.)
     
  9. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Individualized Educational Plan - schools must produce them for all special needs kids. I would get involved with that. Some systems are great and do it right and you don't need to worry. Some do it just because they have to and you come to find out they know little about your kid and his/her needs. You absolutely need to be involved with that process now.
     
  10. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    One of my wife's finest attributes has been fighting for my son's rights toward special education within the normal classroom setting. I couldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole.

    I'm doing good to remember one of his teacher's names. He's in seventh grade, which means he has about five teachers, at least one para, several doctors and other mental health specialists.

    She's been great as far as that stuff goes. And I'm sure it has to wear on her.
     
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