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Depressing Christmas Songs

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Freelance Hack, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Are there any holiday songs that just make you feel downright depressed, to the point that you'd endure self immolation just to make sure you'd never hear that song again?

    For me, there are two songs "Christmas Shoes" and "Dear Mr. Jesus."

    Every time I hear either of these songs I do a quick inventory of sharp or pointed objects in my vicinity so I can either slit my wrists or plunge them into my ears.

    What songs make you feel blue this holiday season?
  2. newgrad2008

    newgrad2008 New Member

    I love Christmas Shoes, but it definitely makes me cry every time I hear it.
  3. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Christmas Shoes makes my look for an ice pick for my temples, but would remain a favorite of all the old, Christmas sweater wearing grannies mall shopping
  4. Frank_Ridgeway

    Frank_Ridgeway Well-Known Member

    The little drummer boy singing about baby Jesus' rump.
  5. Mystery_Meat

    Mystery_Meat Guest

    Last Christmas. He gave her his heart! And the very next day, she gave it away! This year, to save him from tears, he's going gay.
  6. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    It's bad enough when the guy who sounds like a raspier version of the "Butterfly Kisses" guy sings the song, but when they bring on the kid at the end. That's what really drives me to the edge.
  7. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    You know, as I sing the song in my head, I can't recall if they made the song gender specific. So he could have given his heart to guy. And then that's what might have led George to go trolling in park restrooms the next year. He was looking for someone special!
  8. lono

    lono Active Member


    End. Of. Thread.
  9. Bubbler

    Bubbler Active Member

    Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney depresses me because it's the exception to the rule that artists on weed produce better shit than artists who aren't. With the dissonate Moog effects, etc., did they write that song for cheeba-blazed robots?

    All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth doesn't depress me so much as make me want to go on a tri-state killing spree.
  10. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Thank God I haven't heard that song since I was like 13. I was listening to a top 40 countdown (Scott Shannon, I think) and he plays that song. I'm in the bedroom listening on my clock radio and my sister is in the living room playing Nintendo and listening to the same thing. The singer starts wailing about Jesus and sick sad poor kids and I start fuckin bawling. I walk into the living room to clear my head and there's my sister, sitting on the floor, staring at the radio and crying too.

    The only song that made me bawl on impact. Haven't heard it since, thank goodness. I'd probably drive off the road to end the misery if I did hear it.
  11. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Relient K - I Hate Christmas Parties
  12. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer ...

    On Christmas eve, no less. :D
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