Dear Mr. Sir, you have won...

Enough... Enough.. Enough....
Got the latest one today and decided this fuck needs to get some back... if for nothing else, it reads like Cockdian wrote it.
Anyone want to help in drafting a reply to this pigfuck? I know we all get them. If we draft a good enough response, we can all use it.
-----

Microsoft Award Team
20 Craven Park, Harlesden
London NW10 United Kingdom
Ref: BTD/969/07
Batch: 409678E

Dear Lucky Winner,
WINNING NOTIFICATION
The prestigious Microsoft and AOL has set out and successfully organised a Sweepstakes marking beginning of the year 2007 The
selection was made through a computer ballot draw system attaching personalised regular email addresses to ticket numbers. If you ignore this, you will regret it later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are currently running an e-mail beta test.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket number 008795724498 with serial numbers BTD/9080248302/07 and drew the lucky numbers 14-21-25-39-40-47(20) You have therefore won the whole winning sum of 250,000.00 (Two Hunderd and FiFty Thousand British Pounds Sterling). The draws registered as Draw number one was conducted in Brockley, London United Kingdom on the 1th of January 2007. These Draws are commemorative and as such special.provide the following information.
=================================================================================================
NON-RESIDENT AWARD CLAIM FORM GG
=================================================================================================
FULL NAME:.................................................
FORWARDING ADDRESS:......................................
CITY/STATE:............................. COUNTRY OF
ORIGIN:.......................
MARITAL STATUS:.....................
NATIONALITY..................SEX..............
INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT NR:..................DATE OF
BIRTH:.................
TEL/FAX NR:
..............................................OCCUPATION:..........................
CURRENT EMAIL:............................
=================================================================================================
WINNING INFORMATION
=================================================================================================
COUPON NR:..................................LOTTERY REF
NR:..................
LOTTERY DATE:..................CLAIMANT
SIGNATURE:...........................
=================================================================================================
through the process to facilitate the release of your prize to you. To file for your claim Please Contact your Claim Agent:
Mr. Donald Duke. Claim Agent.you can contact the cliams officer with any of the email below.
Microsoft Promotion Award Team
Email: grouplot01@aim.com
Phone: +44 701112 8679
phone: +44 70457 01146
Fax: +447024084189

Please you are to choose your payment option at which you want your fund Paid to you; listed below is our payment modalities and Choose your option of payment by indcate x
1) BY COURIER DELIVERY OF YOUR PRIZE:
..............................................! .[.....]

2}TRAVELLING TO OUR OFFICE FOR CASH COLLECTION (Send flight itinerary
to confirm your arrival/appointment Date}:.........................


Our special thanks and gratitude to Bill Gates and his associates.We wish you the best of luck as you spend your good fortune.Thank you for being part of our commemorative new year Anniversary Draws. CONGRATULATIONS from me and members of staff of the MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTO

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Sincerely,
Dr. TINZO PAOLO
#:+447024070170,+44 703184489
Microsoft Promotion Team

 

at the very least, the address should be in tahoe

 

maybe the email could be goober@wenalway.com

 

unfortunately, i'm no good at humor writing (or many other types of writing, either), so I can be of no further assistance.

 

Designers will ruin us yet...

 

The appropriate response should be:

Dear Mr. Duke,
A prize that large will result in a large tax liability for me. However if you claim the prize for me in your name I will allow you to keep 20% to cover your expenses and taxes. But before I can trust you with my information so you can send me the money, please send me your name, address, phone number and bank account number so I can verify your true identity. Once I have your true identity I will mail you a contract stating that you will claim the money and send me 80% of the prize. Upon signing the contract and having it notarized, please return the contract to my lawyer's office whose address will be enclosed with the contract. Upon receipt of the contract you will be given an account number to wire the money into.
Thank you for the good news and your cooperation,
Mr. Lucky Winner

 

You also need to include a statement that he guarantees to get an exchange rate that will make it worth at least 200,000 (or whatever amount you choose) in American dollars and that will be the currency used to deposit the money into the account.

 

I likes it, E...
And for your reward, I'll give you 40 percent of what he sends me. But as a good-faith stance, perhaps you could send me $10,000...

 

If you don't want it, I'll buy it off you for $100. That's a profit of $249,900!

 

Before I do that, can my lawyer contact your lawyer ;D