Dead birds shut down Austin

Just to show I don't have an East Coast bias with news reporting (but I'm not going to post the whole article)...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070108/ap_on_re_us/austin_shutdown

Bird deaths shut down downtown Austin



By JIM VERTUNO
Associated Press Writer


AUSTIN, Texas - Police shut down 10 blocks of businesses in the heart of downtown early Monday after dozens of birds were found dead in the streets, but officials said preliminary tests showed no dangerous chemicals in the air.

As many as 60 dead pigeons, sparrows and grackles were found overnight along Congress Avenue, a main route through downtown. No human injuries or illnesses were reported.

"We do not feel there is a threat to the public health," said Adolfo Valadez, the medical director for Austin and Travis County Health and Human Services. He said preliminary air-quality tests showed no dangerous chemicals and the area should reopen around noon.

U.S. Department of Homeland Security spokesman Russ Knocke said officials had no credible information to suggest any imminent threat to the city.

On Congress Avenue, just outside the state Capitol, emergency workers donned yellow hazardous-material suits Monday morning, and dozens of fire trucks and ambulances were parked nearby.

Workers were testing for any sort of environmental contaminant or gas or chlorine leaks that might have cause the bird deaths, said police spokeswoman Toni Chovanetz. At least one bird carcass was being tested locally for other possible causes, and other carcasses were shipped to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Texas A&M University.

 

DAMN!

The Ginger Man won't open for another 9 minutes.

 

I wish I could be at the Shoal Creek Saloon for the Saints game on Saturday.



Nobody gives a fuck about the game in this town.

 

Now it's time to take care of those fucking bats.

 

Hopefully, UTshooter will have art for us.

 

So the restaurants in downtown Austin will be serving pigeon, sparrow and grackle* as their specials of the day tomorrow?


*What the fuck is a grackle?

 

An ugly, annoying, loud gray bird.

 

Grackles are like pigeons in that they are basically sky rats, except they are larger, louder, make hideous crackling/skreeching sounds and are sometimes even aggressive. They suck, but in the developing ecosystems of the new millenium, wherein scavenger species will regin supreme, look for increasing menace from the motherfucking grackle. UT (the university, not the SportsJournalists.com poster) actually used some sort of ultrasonic devices a while back to keep them from fouling the areas under trees with excesses of birdshit. Don't know if that worked.

Don't fuck with the bats. Besides being cool, they eat skeeters.

And they play hockey.

 

Dead bird, gonna put it on you!!!

 

Ever met someone who looked toward the sky when somebody yelled "Look! A dead bird!"?

 

I had no idea this happened. Good thing I haven't left my apartment all day...

Don't mess with the bats, man. They're cool.

A side note on grackles: a guy in one of my classes last semester wanted to do his photo project on how grackles are taking over downtown and running the pigeons out. He had a real Hatfield-McCoy thing going on in his head.

 

When they find out the cause, they should bottle and sell it. Everyone who lives near a statue or freeway overpass would buy it.