Dating...ugh

or he could what every other man does:

lie. tell the girl whatever she wants to hear. worry about that when you're 40.

in the meantime Pffft: sports leagues, bars, the local cultural institution, the gym, church, synagogue, mosque or buddhist temple -- you have to get out there, even if some or all of those are not your thing. now is the time to try all things you don't know, when you are your only responsibility. and at the risk of starting a flame war with other posters, don't surrender your job or career path just because things seem grim.

like lying to women by telling them you've had PLENTY of long-term realtionships, you can always quit when you're 40. Just don't quit now.

 

You say that you haven't had any serious relationships, but yet you've turned down opportunities to date women, and have given some excuses for why you did so.

Stop making excuses and start dating women when you have the chance. You say that you're saving yourself for your future bride, but given that you've never been in a serious relationship before, you have no idea what you're really looking for in a wife.

Being a good partner--in bed, in life, in love--takes practice. You're going to do some stupid things in your first few relationships, so it's best to get those over with and make some mistakes. If you don't think you'll marry the person, so what? Better to screw up a relationship with someone you won't marry, than with your future wife. And who knows ... maybe one of these women you're oh-so-sure you won't marry will grow on you over time.

So get out there and start having real relationships with real women. They don't need to be super-serious, and you shouldn't be dishonest with them. They're not going to want a proposal or to discuss the future in your first few days, and neither will you. So just have fun and learn from the experience. You're doing yourself a disservice by forgoing opportunities to learn and grow, in the name of "high standards" or "waiting for the right one."

Good luck. 23 is a great age to be!

 

I'm exactly the opposite way of thinking. I have a long time to meet someone but I know that the time to try to get myself established is now. You have plenty of time to meet someone and spend the rest of your lives together and have all sorts of fun. But as long as you're waiting to find someone, you might as well focus on something. Besides, the second you stop looking, someone will walk into your life and it will just happen.

 

Although if you want to give German another try, stay away from "ich bin heiss". That doesn't mean what you think it means.

 

This.

 

I'm only about six years older than you, and I've been married since I was 24, but here goes:

Once you settle down and get married, you will love being married and love your wife (if you made the right choice). You will also love remembering all those fun single times when got so drunk you peed on a cop, when you messed around with the city editor at the christmas party, etc.

My advice is to be on the lookout for the one, but sleep around in the meantime.

Hope that helps. Experience has made me wise.

 

Except when they don't and it doesn't.

 

Anybody else think the single 23-year-old girl and the single 23-year-old guy should be PMing phone numbers by now?

 

Wenders ... this is pffft. Pffft ... meet Wenders. You're the same age, even!

 

Seriously. I think we made a love connection.

 

This made me think of a great line that Dan Savage uses. Every time someone calls him distraught over a relationship that ended, he says, "Every relationship you will ever be in will fail - until one doesn't." You won't meet the right person by making him/her the focus of your life. You can't find special people by waiting for them.

 

The original poster seems to be concerned about more than just dating. You seem to be wondering if the small town life is right for you to try and get where you want to be in life, not just in your career. As one of the people who I looked to for advice since I graduated in May would always tell me, it's all about figuring what your priorities are. Not what other people think the priorities should be at this point in your life, but what is actually most important to you.

For me, after spending 3+ months applying for jobs all around the country in all different sized cities to attempt to at least stay somewhat in the sports writing business, I looked more closely at what's most important to me. It came down to three things: career, people and place. And since I understand how difficult it would be to make headway in the career aspect without starting in some small town, doing something that I'm not 100% sure I want to do, I realized that the city I most want to live in also puts me closest to most number of people I want to be around.

So I'm moving to that city at the end of this week to live with two close friends from college. And I will be within 20 blocks of about six other friends and my sister. My first job offer is for something that involves neither writing nor sports, but I have probably 50+ years to work if I live long enough and I'm guessing I'll go through a few careers before that time is up.