DadLife, the Holy - or not so holy - Crap edition

Our two year old had serious poop issues until she was about 15 months. That's when we started giving her Miralax in her morning water/juice (after getting very little help from the pediatrician). No more screaming and bicycle kicking, but a lot more covert blow-outs. We're working on the right formula, while throwing in some potty-training stuff.

 

Between my dogs and 2-year-0ld, poop takes up a larger portion of my day and larger portion of my conversations than I ever thought possible.

 

Formula roulette is the worst.
With the first, we went through six or seven different kinds before we found one that she didn't completely spit up. It was a horrible process because it was so god damn expensive. Second kid, we went with what we used for the first - GentleEase - and it's been fine. We just switched to milk so between that and the food, Baby No. 2 is booby up some fierce nastiness.
The teething is just as bad.
I'd like to keep this thread running for funny parent stories. We all have them and they're happening constantly because little kids are fucking hilarious sometimes.

 

Children teach you how to take care of them.

 

You know last year I went through some prep for a procedure (old guy) where you never have to worry about getting backed up. In fact, afterwards I felt so cleansed out it was like new copper piping. Of course, drinking gallons of fluid in an hour left my body exhausted as that fluid had to...um come out. Sorry, this post reminded me of the opposite feeling experience I had.

 

To answer the actual post, with my boys now 13 and 15, I cannot remember a time when they had any constipation problem. As for the parenting guidebook, child-rearing did make wifey and I hone our communication and marriage skills very quickly; which last to this day. The most amazing fact is, kids are pretty damn resilient and they recover from anything pretty damn fast.

 

Both my kids had constipation problems. We ended up having to use a thermometer with vaseline to help them out. No fun.

 

What was the temperature?

 

I just puked all over my keyboard!

 

The all-time authority on manual bowel de-obstrucion:

Ask Dr. Gott — Ask Dr Gott MD's Website

 

That reminds me of an old corny joke.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.

 

There is a line from the Springsteen song "Straight Time" which I have always used to explain the parenting of an infant and all of the yicky stuff which can be involved:

Eight years in, it feels like you're gonna die, but you get used to anything and sooner or later it becomes your life.

Of course, he was talking about life in prison and not changing a dirty diaper, but the analogy holds.