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"Daddy, I'm pregnant." Rinse, repeat.

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by HejiraHenry, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. HejiraHenry

    HejiraHenry Well-Known Member

    Our neighbors have a daughter who is pregnant.

    She's 16 now, but was 15 at the time of the deed.

    The father, he's been married before and apparently the same thing happened to a daughter from his first marriage.

    And these aren't toothless goobers. They're a white-collar family.

    I can see that happening once – it happens. But how in the hell would you not do everything you could to stop it from happening again?

    Hell, now that I think about it, maybe they did.
  2. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    There was a girl in my high school who had two kids before she graduated, and word was she popped out a third before the end of her first year of community college. She's a year younger than me, so she was 15 (10th grade), 17 (12th grade) and 18 (freshman in college), I believe.
  3. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member


    What should he have done? I am not trying to be a jerk, but you can't watch her 24/7. All you can do is teach your values as best you can and then cross your fingers.

    I have an 18 year old, and one of the hardest conversations I ever had with her was when she was 16 and starting to date. It involved all the things that boys would say to try and have sex with her. It also included me telling her that if she did decide to have sex, please make sure he used a condom and if he told you it didn't feel right with a condom on, tell him too damn bad. Having told her all that, she could have easily chalked it all up to the rantings of an overprotective father and ignored me...I am fortunate that she didn't, but it did involve a lot of finger crossing.
  4. HejiraHenry

    HejiraHenry Well-Known Member

    You're right, of course.

    I can't help but think the biggest lessons the younger drew from the situation, though. is however the first girl was ultimately regarded in the house. Did that send a signal that it was okay? Did the first girl never tell her half-sister, "Don't mess up like I did?"

    Of course, this is all just outside-looking-in.
  5. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member

    No, you're probably right. The first one probably got a lot of help from the family, the baby was treated well by the grandparents and everything ended up going back to a version of normal. What else can you do? Unless you are going to turn the daughter into a pariah. But the step sister sure coulda said "hey, this is a pretty big screw up...watch yourself."

    One of my daughters high school friends was pregnant at graduation and one of the biggest "told you so's" we got as parents was when the father of that child bailed. My daughter was furious that he wouldn't stick around and we pointed out that some boys were like that. It was a real eye opener for her.

    It's just sad all around
  6. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Well, one option would seem to be to put her on birth control.

    Get the shot, and have mom take her four times a year.

    Isn't practical for everyone, though, I realize.
  7. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member

    On the contrary Zeke, it is the most practical solution. But many parents don't want to face up to what their daughters might be doing away from home.

    But plan for the worst, pray for the best at least at our house.
  8. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    Tell her to watch the Papa Don't Preach video. Great song and video storytelling.
  9. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    My mother put my sister and I on birth control when we were 12. Mom made it clear she didn't want us to have sex, but she was also smart enough to realize that most teenagers have sex and that it was silly to stick her head in the sand and pretend that it wasn't going on.

    Any parent who doesn't put their daughter on birth control is being foolish.
  10. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    I meant that some women have a bad reaction to the specific form of birth control administered by injection.

    But some form of birth control, lord yes.
  11. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

    Birth control, sex ed, and jail for anyone under 18 who gets pregnant or gets someone pregnant before their 18th birthday. Or at least yank their license.
  12. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    A 16-year-old girl at my church is pregnant -- after her then 17-year-old cousin knocked up his 16-year-old girlfriend two years ago...
    Babies having babies... are they just damn stupid?
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