Dad who beat up daughter's boyfriend: I would have dragged the kid behind my car

Re: Dad who beat up daughter's boyfriend: I would have dragged the kid behind my

Hmm. About a decade and a half ago, my youngest sister (16 years my junior, quite cute, a star athlete and a standout student), started hanging out with a similar skeevy fuck (HS dropout, 19 years old [she was 16], no driver's license (already revoked), no car, no job, lived 25 miles out of town in a trailer in some fucking hillbilly Hooterville, constantly calling her up to bum money off her, come give him rides to his buddies' houses, where they would organize farting contests or drink sterno or gig frogs or who the fuck knows what else).

How they met or started hanging out I never found out and didn't really want to know. God knows she had plenty of guys (many even half-intelligent) after her at her own school. Somehow or other, there was a party, both she and Skeevy were there, and off things went. Whether their relationship had extended to getting down and dirty I didn't know, but it was headed that way in a hurry. Eventually stories started to filter back how they treated their hillbilly girls in Hooterville, and it wasn't good.

My parents were quite old at the time (she was born when they were in their 40s) and not really in shape to physically do anything about the situation. When one day Sis showed up with a black eye, I asked her, "What happened, you get smacked at basketball practice," and she said "No," it was time for Starman and Star-Brother to swing into action.

At the time, I was in much better shape than I am today, and Star-Brother was 20, fresh off the varsity football team and still paying regular visits to the weight room. Skeevy Fucker, like many of his ilk, was about 5-7 and 135. Between the two of us, we had probably 200 pounds on him.

We both threw on black trench coats and black hats (never underestimate the power of theatricality), tooled out to Hooterville, managed to catch Skeevy sitting on the porch of his mom's trailer, and promptly launched a brief "Come To Jesus" meeting which culminated in Skeevy's feet dangling off the ground for a couple of minutes as his head was firmly thumped against the aluminum siding of the trailer. As soon as it looked like he was getting the message, he was tossed 10 feet onto the grass, and we strode slowly to our car and drove off.

That was the last anybody ever heard of Skeevy. Sis is now a successful lawyer, married 12 years to an actually pretty cool guy. Skeevy? I'd bet you even money he's still sitting out on the stoop of that trailer.

 

I would guess he did about 30 seconds after we left, but other than that, I doubt it.

 

did your sister ever find out?

 

Next time there is an SportsJournalists.com glossary, this post goes under "Starman Justice: Origins."

Excellent work.

 

Re: Dad who beat up daughter's boyfriend: I would have dragged the kid behind my

Yeah, she found out. A few days later, my brother said, "Oh, Skeevy? You won't see him around no more."





After the first stage of being pissed off, she was fine. She knew she was better than that.

 

solid story.

 

From hearing your story Starman, I'm guessing Skeevy was probably too stupid to learn his lesson, I'll bet he got quite a few Starman-like beatdowns.

Good work though, I applaude your contribution to those who think it's ok to hit a woman! Any man, wait, male (he's not a man), that would hit a female deserves to have the shit kicked out of him.

 

Re: Dad who beat up daughter's boyfriend: I would have dragged the kid behind my

Yeah, while we're on the Godfather threadjack, we definitely considered a Sonny Corleone vs. Carlo Rizzi beatdown on Skeevy, but we figured once we got into broken bones, etc., the fun would be over and eventually somebody would be going to jail. Once we dangled Skeevy up against the wall by his shirt collar and played a Keith Moon drum solo with his head on the aluminum siding for a few minutes, that seemed to deliver the message. Later on, with other girls, I'm sure he required some additional "encouragement."



Oh, and after doing the mental math, I'd correct one thing: between us, we had probably *300* pounds on him.

 

Sometimes, you just have to beat the shit out of someone to get the point across.

 

I agree with all the fathers out here in terms of how they would have reacted were it their daughter.

At the same time, I have a hard time with such an arbitrary number like 16. When I was 16, the gulf between other people my age was sometimes so enormous, there might as well have been a 10-year difference between us. Age, as we all know, is just a number. I wish there was another way to police this...just don't have a freaking clue how.

 

A shutgun is a shotgun with a full super duper choke.

Shotguns shoot shells filled with shot or slugs not bullets.