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cursed by office geography

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by jumboland, Jul 3, 2006.

  1. jumboland

    jumboland New Member

    This blows. All the hot young female reporters are giggling, cutting up, having a great time chatting...and I'm over here in the sports area of the office, miles away. No women here...nothing but sausage on the menu on this side of the newsroom. At this rate, the first time I'll get to have a casual conversation with the attractive news gals will be in three or four months. We don't even have a water cooler I can hover around. This blows musty old goat dick in the dankest cavern of Hades. :-*

    Then again, it could be worse. At my first newspaper job, I was positioned right next to the most annoying woman in the United States. She was a pompous Anglophile from suburban Pennsylvania who used to be in "the theatre" and was LOUD AS FUCK. Imagine a fat Mary Poppins who never stops clucking, butchering Cole Porter tunes in falsetto (she ruined Cole Porter for me the whole time I was there), being officious and imperious on the phone, making bitchy comments to coworkers, loudly, all day long. So I may never get to talk to the hot women here but at least there's no bovine off-Broadway bitch from Talbot's blustering in my fucking face every day.

    Anyone have any funny stories about the blessings or curses of office geography to cheer me up?
  2. tyler durden 71351

    tyler durden 71351 Active Member

    I once sat right by an unattractive middle aged woman who would have phone sex in the office...or I think that's what she did...when she started telling a guy in a low, breathy voice what type of underwear she was wearing, I got the hell up and ran to the library. She once did a news obit and kept on asking people "Tell me a story about your father that brings him to life." What a dumb, insensitive cow.
    At my last stop, the news interns, who were pretty much all cute college chicks, sat on the far side of the newsroom. Course at this stop, there were several very good-looking women in their early- to mid-20s who were in my social circle, so the college girl thing was no great loss. 8)
  3. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

  4. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    I sit near a copy editor on the news side who can't resist swearing every third word. He also talks about very inappropriate things, and does so very loudly. It drives me FUCKING insane! ;) :D :mad:
  5. Seabasket

    Seabasket Active Member

    Dude, why don't you just get up and go talk to them? It's not that hard.
  6. novelist_wannabe

    novelist_wannabe Well-Known Member

    wow, exactly 100 topics ago ...

    Oh, and Jumbo, what Seabasket said, only leave the goat copulation references in the area where there are only males. Can't see where that would produce anything other than revulsion among the aforementioned hotties.
  7. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    They invented these things called legs so you can walk over and talk to hot chicks. Give 'em a try.
  8. jumboland

    jumboland New Member

    I'm very new here and would rather not mack on the hot women 15 years my junior just as soon as I walk in the door.  We have an open office and the event would be on display for everyone to see from editorial to advertising to graphics.  I assure you that I am scheming to find ways to talk to them, but interrupting them while they're working and creating a scene for the office gossips to exaggerate with every retelling is not how I plan to start.  I don't even know who the office gossips are, yet.
  9. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Sounds like your best shot is the middle-aged phone sex practicioner or the pompous Anglophile. Bet she'd be a jolly good romp if you gave her a whirl.
  10. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    I dated three different women from my first post-Navy newspaper and gave one rat's rump about what other people thought of me. In fact, I'm pretty sure my dating the first two kind of opened the door to the third because she realized it was OK (and possible) to date someone you work with.
  11. jumboland

    jumboland New Member

    Gee, and I was going to mention goat fellatio right off the bat!  Guess I'll have to come up with another way of introducing myself that isn't so predictable and trite...

    Well, it's interesting to hear that some consider blatantly hitting on coworkers during work hours a good idea for one's first week on the job.  I'm sticking to my original plan of laying low until I've figured out the social landscape around here...
  12. Jake_Taylor

    Jake_Taylor Well-Known Member

    Why don't you just go talk to her...talk to her...talk to her...


    If you can, figure out a way to play Foxy Lady over the office intercom before sauntering over there.
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