crossed giblets of death, 2011

Another insane three days awaits me. Can't wait.

Wednesday I'm off. I'll mow the lawn one last time, rake the leaves, and get out the outdoor Christmas decorations. Mrs. Podunk and I are going to see the new Muppets movie that night.

Turkey Trot bright and early Thursday morning. Then it's off to the in-laws. My brother, his girlfriend and my parents will all be there as well. I'm really looking forward to great food, someone getting insulted and the Lions-Packers game.

I'm working overnight Thursday night into Friday. About a 9-hour shift. And you know what? I'm not sleeping, and I think that dude at Target who made the big stink about having his Thanksgiving ruined is a complete and total wuss.

I'll sleep 2 or 3 hours before the LSU-Arkansas game, decorate the Christmas tree and party my way through Saturday.

My thoughts with everyone working a ton this weekend. I always volunteer to work straight through Christmas-New Year's. Gets me off Thanksgiving. I'll take it.

 

Off at noon Wed. Wife and kids will meet me at the office and we'll make what should be a 4.5 hour drive to my folks. (With newborn in tow, I'm guessing 6.) We eat an early dinner Thursday, then turn right back around and go home, because God forbid my wife doesn't get to do Black Thursday with her sister and mom no later than 9 p.m. It's actually a very revolting way to spend the holiday if you ask me. Fortunately, she never does.

 

Because of our effed-up mail delivery system, we'll be working on Friday morning's paper Wednesday afternoon. I'll probably end up leaving work Tuesday midnight, go back in Wednesday morning, find some AP features, tell the layout people to have sports share with comics, and go home between noon and 1. No point in having standings, which would normally be 3/4ths of a second page on a Friday, since they won't include anything from Thursday, anyway.

 

I go to my sister's house about 45 minutes (although I always seem to think it's 30) away. I spend the after noon taking mental bets as to which of my sister's family will have a meltdown. Betting on the youngest daughter has been suspended so others can win. (The classic hissy fit about french vanilla over regular vanilla ice cream for dessert is in the Hall of Fame.) Then I go to the office and jam out the paper.

Last year, the food was really good and my brother in law gave me some of his leftover lasagna, which was like a Black Friday food gift.

This all assumes that the cold that currently has left me mute is gone by then. Otherwise, I stay home, watch the Lions and enjoy a ham sandwich or two.

 

With a two-man staff and two teams still alive in the playoffs, plans for a trip to mom's , three hours away, went up in smoke soon as the final buzzer went off last Friday. Going there not a problem, but not really thrilled about driving back Friday morning, slamming out a page, covering a game and and slamming out a couple of more pages. Thinking seriously of skipping all football until Niners-Ravens and getting some cleaning, then some cooking done.

 

You have to be back by 9:00PM on Thursday? That's nuts.

 

Did 21 retire and leave her thread to Shockey?

 

I'm working on the copy desk, and I'm far enough away from any family that I can sleep in and eat whatever I want. This has been the case for a few years now, where I've worked and couldn't get home. I like Christmas at my mom's house, but there are enough headaches. Thanksgiving isn't nearly as fun, and the headaches remain.

 

Only because you say this is a "first time" deep frying a turkey, BE SURE IT IS COMPLETELY DEFROSTED before you drop it into the oil or else it will "explode" and send hot oil everywhere - - and likely ignite the hot oil from the flame under the cooker.

Having said that, deep fried turkey cooks very fast (15 lb bird in less than an hour) and it is very tasty.

Be safe and enjoy.

 

Oh, yeah, we looked up everything about deep frying a turkey we could (and also drew on my cousin's experience from his past couple of Thanksgivings). She bought it on Saturday and put it right into the fridge to thaw. In addition, the concrete from the former garage is out by the alley, so if anything catches fire ... well, the next closest thing will be roomie's car, so hopefully it motivates her to be careful.

 

Everyone loves the whole, glazed "Oh wow!" turkey.

For deep frying, consider getting a pre-cut turkey and doing it in pieces. Brine everything or prep as usual, but have the breasts, thighs and legs already cut up. Buy two turkeys and have more.

Easier to deep fry and less risk of dropping a 20-pound turkey into a vat of sizzling oil, thus turning your testicles into the Fried Giblets of Death.

Carry on.

 

At my first paper, I visited some friends for Thanksgiving. We played wiffle ball in the snow, and then I went to work and typed in and published an agate line on the game, for their amusement. Nobody ever knew the wiser. Happy Thanksgiving, all.