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Crossed Giblets of Death 2010 -- Season 666

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by 21, Nov 23, 2010.

  1. SpeedTchr

    SpeedTchr Well-Known Member

    Don't know which part of the "holiday" will be worse -- dinner at my brother's place or working a miserable women's hoops tournament featuring some of the most awful teams in America that give scholarships.

    Sis-in-law has a family of about 100, most of whom are at death's door or divorcing/remarrying, and she honestly cannot cook anything for human consumption. Worse still, she loves to experiment in the kitchen.

    Two years ago I couldn't identify the "meat" that was on the platter, other than to know it wasn't ham since pigs don't generally have feathers. Come to think of it, the pigeons in the back yard were unusually quiet.
     
  2. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Tonight, I went out with the family and I asked the kids about Thanksgiving. The discussion turned to what kind of meat they preferred from the turkey, light or dark?

    I mean, what kid doesn't prefer white meat, right?

    Then, to my shock, my son expressed his preference for dark meat over white meat, although he's not quite sure.

    This is bullshit in excelsis.

    You know what I'm thankful for on Thankgiving? My long-established and unchallenged monopolization of the dark meat at most family gatherings, especially at my in-laws' gathering, which I will attend Thursday.

    I do not want competition for the dark meat. And since it's my own son, I can only assume he has/or will develop the same voracious appetite for dark meat as I have.

    This can only lead to bad things ... less dark meat for me on Thanksgiving itself, less dark meat as leftovers, dark meat which I currently dominate.

    I can't have this.

    I think I'm going to work on him psychologically. Maybe I'll drop in a hint that white meat tastes better. Maybe I'll tell him that dark meat is slimy. Maybe I'll tell him that dark meat comes from the turkey's butt.

    And if that fails, maybe I'll go nuclear and tell him that if you cooked our dog, it would be all dark meat.

    [​IMG]

    (reasonable facsimile of our family dog, who is no longer a puppy, but you get the jist)


    I ain't playin'.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  3. holy bull

    holy bull Active Member

    3. And which town is this that I'm Mapquesting?
     
  4. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    3. How long will it take for them to get here?
     
  5. Key

    Key Well-Known Member

    Said idiots take after their father and may drink a little more than the ladies in this family would like. Of course, what are you supposed to do with four cases and 15 bottles of wine? But all that wine has had a detrimental effect on this morning's proceedings: someone had the bright idea to wake up early and have a family breakfast at the donut place up the road. My 2-year-old son decided 5:30 a.m. was the appropriate wakeup call.
    Oh, and it's just my wife, two toddler children and my parents for this Thanksgiving. So we'll have plenty of spirits left for all you crazy SportsJournalists.commers out there!
     
  6. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    So if it's just you and your kids, does that mean the toddlers are the damn idiots? They drink wine??
     
  7. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Well, not to excess anyway.
     
  8. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    My nephew, this year's host along with his incredible wife, just wrote me: Five gallons of chili on the pot awaiting the invasion. I figure about a gallon for you. Glad you're staying at the hotel.

    Smart kid.

    Our family is growing up and spreading out, so we never hit 100 percent anymore. If 80 percent show up, we're having a good year. This year, I think we're at 95 percent. It'll be a crowd but a fun time. Chili tonight, the usual tomorrow and on Friday - smoked pork and that "to your knees mac and cheese" recipe I posted here a while back. I have a full day of work Friday but that's one of the many great things about my gig. I can work anywhere with my air card. I'll put the machine down long enough to kill some mac and cheese. On my knees.

    My son will be with us this year for the first time in a while. Devoted boyfriend that he is, he spent the last few years with his girlfriend while she was in law school at Tennessee. Short break and she couldn't get home. He won't have as much fun this year as he's had in recent years but it will be nice - for us - to have him around.

    If any of you are in and around Raleigh-Durham, hit me up. We may have some leftover chili.
     
  9. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Before my uncle passed away that was the grown up table too. Nice little bonus about the kids table is that it's in the basement right next to the TV which will be showing the Cowboys game. I don't like the Cowboys or the Saints, but any football game that isn't watched next to my great aunt is greater than great.

    She see's a replay and always exclaims "OH NO! THEY SCORED AGAIN!"
     
  10. Dyno

    Dyno Well-Known Member

    I'm jealous of all of you with the big families and the fun stuff. 14 bottles of wine would last us 28 years. Last year, 4 adults drank half a bottle, total.
     
  11. Wenders

    Wenders Well-Known Member

    I believe last year, me, my mom, my aunt and my two cousins polished off three bottles of wine and that was just while cooking BEFORE the meal.
     
  12. ADodgen

    ADodgen Member

    Moddy, if I weren't home in OK for the holidays, I'd be stalking you around central NC in a quest for some of that Mac and Cheese.
     
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