Cowturd does it again

Because Cowherd doesn't know The Big Lede from his big toe. Total lightweight. That's his problem, he just 'skims' on everything, except college football. He does know college football.

 

He chose The Big Lead because it's a web site that his producer, Amanda, frequently reads. It was pretty arbitrary.

 

Cowturd arbitrary? Nah....

 

His Web cam is useless because you can't see Amanda.

 

She is a cutie.

Speaking of female radio people, I never realized how big Karen Kay (of 3rd shift with Jorge Sedano on FSR) is. I don't mean fat, I mean jacked. She is a strong-looking woman.

 

Fair enough. He's just a douchebag. I was just confused for a moment.

 

He does, huh?

I'll listen to anybody for two weeks. And with Cowherd, I did for three. If talking about seven college football - the ones anybody could talk about - translates into knowledge...well...heh. It takes real guns to orally pleasure USC.

Here's what Cowherd mostly talked about during those three weeks (and this was only six or seven months ago). Story structure. Oh, yes, I mean it: Story structure. This guy talked more about why certain stories are important, and certain ones aren't, and what a good story is, and what one isn't, and how that effects ratings, why ratings are important, etc. He also talked a lot about success. What really successful people do, why they do those things, why you, the regular listener, does not, how they're not like normal people, how certain teams or programs were successful, how certain teams weren't. I also recall a lot of conversation about Las Vegas (which, along with fellating Hugh Hefner, is about as lame as a "guy topic" as there is).

It was nauseating radio. I mean, awful. Like a cross between one of those gambling gurus who infested Saturday morning USA Network once upon a time, some LiveLifeHard! scam artist in convention hall B at the Airport Howard Johnson and Jason Patric's character from "Your Friends and Neighbors." Maybe, in real life, Cowherd's a nice guy. But his radio schtick is so transparent, so desparate and so smarmy that the only assholes who ought to listen to him are people who suck the teat of television ratings and David Brent salesmen whose office is their car.

 

Alma, you don't have to convince me that Cowturd sucks.

The only things you can be sure of is he will give verbal bj's to the following individuals/teams: Charlie Weiss, Derek Jeter, NYY, USC, and the Pac 10.

He used to know some college football, but maybe that's gone out the window along with anything else the show ever had.

You're right, he loves story structure. That's a great way to put it. He also loves reciting the demos for his audience (business guys, ...) and then kissing their asses.

He is absolute sh*t. He is brutal.

 

I know! The guy was constantly breaking the wall, and not in a Jim Rome interaction kind of way.

I admit I went back and listened to the Eddie Robinson stuff last week after reading about it here, because it sounded so much like the shit he said those few weeks I listened. And it was the same shit! He kept going on about why he didn't talk about Robinson, but now he would, because it was "polarizing" for him to explain why he didn't talk about Eddie Robinson. Then some guy calls in, tries to actually agree with him, and Cowherd shuts him off because he's from Louisiana, saying, you're exactly the audience I don't care about.

Not to say ESPN doesn't have some amateurish stuff on its network, but I'm surprised they don't kick Cowherd in the ass and make him churn out a better show. He could end up getting that network in some big trouble.

 

That was a perfect way to encapsulate it: 'story structure.' He does so damn much of that. I never really thought about it in those terms, but that's exactly what it is. And it blows.

 

Karen is a babe, but Gianna Suter is hotter. If you want some "sizzle", I recomend Krystal Fernandez. And the new female update reporter, Deb Carson. That's just my opinion.

Krystal:
Gianna:
Karen:
Deb:

 

Krystal is amazing, I posted some links to pics of her a few months back. I don't know Suter, I'm going to have to look her up.