"Courtesy Calls"

Fucking brilliant.

 

You can tell even companies that you already do business with to stop calling. I think they're even required to listen to you. But if they're not, then they can become companies you don't do business with.

 

I've got a buddy who has started programming his phone to forward these calls back to the place where they originated. He never hears them any more.

 

I'm a fan of asking the caller questions like "Does it bother you that your parents wished for a boy/girl and got you instead?" or "Why do your parents love your brother more than they love you?"

 

I never let an overseas call-center-type call without asking, "Say, have you seen Osama Bin Laden? You can't miss him – he's the tallest guy over there, I'd bet."

 

Unless you really need a place to call you, give a number that's one digit off your real number, and make it the same every time so that if you have to call someplace and they ask for your number as a way of identifying you, you'll know it. I get no telemaketing calls whatsoever.

 

Or go this route...add your area code to the beginning of 382-5633 [FUC-KOFF] or 382-5968 [FUC-KYOU]. I'm all about the subliminal message.

 

I'd love to find a way to forward them to pay phone sex lines. I bet that would do it.

When I'd just moved in with my wife, we were at a grocery store or something and she gave them our real home phone number. I was dumbfounded. "Promise me you will never, ever do that again." We agreed on a fake number we can consistently recall. It's funny, I rarely use the home phone, but when I need to give someone the real number I have to think about it, because I automatically want to say the fake one out of habit.

 

That's why I love just having a cell. Never gotten a "courtesy call" from magazines or organizations trying to get me to give them money.

 

Better still: Do away with the landline and go 100% cellular! The only reason I still have mine is because of my DSL.

 

Interrupt them and ask in a frantic voice, "I'm sorry to cut you off but do you know any ways to get get ALOT of blood out of fabric. Annnnnd ... you're not recording this are you? Thanks. bye." slam phone down.

 

That's what I do... Also, I have a lot of friends who have gotten rid of their home phone altogether... I haven't gone that far, but I've considered it...