Country music -- the new hair metal??

Somewhere out there, there is a stetson-wearing, steel-guitar-playing Kurt Cobain waiting to snuff the life out of this genre just as he did in the glorious winter of 1992.

 

They're all trying to find a babysitter.

 

Then you probably don't want to hear the fact that Jerry Ragavoy, who co-wrote "Piece Of My Heart" with the late Bert Berns, liked Faith Hill's version much, much more than the one by Janis Joplin.

Now that I think about it, Erma Franklin's original recording was better than Joplin's as well.

 

Alan Jackson said it best, back in 1994:

She's been playing in a room on a strip
For ten years in Vegas
Every night she looks in the mirror
But she only ages
She's been reading about Nashville and all
The records that everybody's buying
Says 'I'm a simple girl myself
Grew up on Long Island'
So she packs her bags to try her hand
Says this might be my last chance

She's gone country, look at them boots
She's gone country, back to her roots
She's gone country, a new kind of suit
She's gone country, here she comes

Well the folk scene is dead
But he's holding out in the village
He's been writing songs speaking out
Against wealth and privilege
He says 'I dont believe in money
But a man could make him a killin'
Cause some of that stuff don't sound
Much different than Dylan
I hear down there it's changed you see
They're not as backwards as they used to be'

He's gone country, look at them boots
He's gone country, back to his roots
He's gone country, a new kind of suit
He's gone country, here he comes

He commutes to LA
But he's got a house in the valley
But the bills are piling up
And the pop scene just ain't on the rally
He says 'Honey I'm a serious composer
Schooled in voice and composition
But with the crime and the smog these days
This ain't no place for children
Lord it sounds so easy it shouldn't take long
Be back in the money in no time at all'

He's gone country, look at them boots
He's gone country, back to his roots
He's gone country, a new kind of suit
He's gone country, here he comes
Yeah he's gone country, a new kind of walk
He's gone country, a new kind of talk
He's gone country, look at them boots
He's gone country, oh back to his roots

He's gone country
He's gone country
Everybody's gone country
Yeah we've gone country
The whole world's gone country

 

Is that the next season of "Supergroup?"

 

A couple of years ago Poison was playing Birmingham the same day SEC football media days were wrapping up. I remember the spectacle of watching Rikki Rocket and Bobby Dahl making their way through throngs of Bama fans following Shula around like he was a god - little did I know they were just getting to know their new fanbase a little better.

 

Tom Keifer (or is it Kiefer?) is from Colorado and has sang the National Anthem at Broncos and Rockies home games.

 

Every Rose Has It Is Thorn?

 

I thought maybe this would be about Rascal Flats selling however many copies and crossing over via power ballads, like hair metal did back in the day. I wasn't braced to see the '80s come back like this.

 

The knowledge of hair metal shared here frightens me.

That said, when the members of Pretty Boy Floyd start appearing on country albums, that's when we know the genre is officially and completely dead.

 

Rascal Flatts -- a poor man's Lonestar. Their ballads will never be in the class of "Amazed" (meaning the original recording, not the sickening pop remix).

Hey, I said his argument was sloppy.

 

Lemme know when there's a country version of "Smooth Up In Ya."