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Could use some prayers

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Johnny Dangerously, Jun 14, 2006.

  1. Sxysprtswrtr

    Sxysprtswrtr Active Member

    Sorry to hear the news JD --- Much love and hugs for you and your family.
    We love ya here.
     
  2. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Really sorry to hear, J_D.
     
  3. JR

    JR Well-Known Member

    Sorry about your loss JD.

    My dad died almost 25 years ago and it seems like yesterday.

    My mom died 5 years ago.

    I take them both wherever I go.
     
  4. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Well-Known Member

    Writing your mother's obituary is not easy, but it was a kind of therapy for me. Sharing it with my friends here if nobody minds.

    Helen Dubois

    The family of Helen Marie Desormeaux Dubois, 75, invites friends and
    neighbors to a celebration of her life at 11 a.m. Saturday, July 8,
    2006, at St. Margaret Catholic Church in Lake Charles.
       She carried each of her four children in her arms for their first
    Mass at their hometown church, and together they will gather there to
    offer her to God, and as a testament to the beauty of a life of
    selfless giving and unblinking courage in the face of death.
       Helen's last breath, Monday in a Houston hospital, marked the
    final beat of a heart both tender and tough, strengthened by faith and
    a lifetime of loving, sharing and caring. From her birth May 18, 1931,
    in Erath, she inspired many with a quiet devotion to those she held
    dear. They will tell their stories of Helen and hope to hear others
    during remembrances at week's end and beyond.
       She will be laid to rest in Consolata Cemetery in Lake Charles
    next to her husband, Whitney Joseph Dubois Jr., who died Nov. 1, 1980.
       They are survived by four children, Lois Clausen and husband Roger
    of Lake Charles, Denise Landry and husband Gil of Santa Clara, Calif.,
    Renee Gillespie and husband John of Anaheim Hills, Calif., and Carl
    Dubois of Baton Rouge. Her daughters and son spent her last months,
    weeks, days and hours witnessing her brave struggle with illness, a
    fight devoid of complaint and colored by her usual quiet dignity.
       She loved and nurtured nine grandchildren, Elizabeth and Adam
    Clausen of Lake Charles, Jackie, John Whitney and Joseph Gillespie of
    Anaheim Hills, Calif.; Gilbert Landry of Portland, Ore., Brad Landry
    of Lake Charles, Josh Landry of Lafayette and Jacob Landry of Seattle,
    Wash.
       Helen's brother Roland Desormeaux lives in Daly City, Calif.
    Another brother, Eugene Desormeaux, preceded her in death, as did her
    parents, Eluse Desormeaux and Edia Boudreaux Desormeaux, who was later
    Edia Oliva.
       Helen grew up in humble circumstances in Erath, living without
    most modern conveniences for the first years of her life. She spoke
    only Cajun French until the first grade.
       She learned English in the classroom, helped teach it to her
    family and became valedictorian of her graduating class at Erath High
    School, which she represented at Pelican State. She spent summer
    vacations picking cotton in the humid heat of south Louisiana.
       To better herself and her family, she moved after high school to
    New Orleans for her first full-time job. She married and moved to Lake
    Charles in 1950. As an adult she owned three homes, the last purchased
    proudly on her own and built by the sweat and love of her son-inlaw,
    Gil Landry.
       Once widowed, she worked at the Calcasieu Parish School Board
    Accounts Payable Department and increased her nest egg through careful
    planning and her trademark thrift. She spoke with conviction about
    elected leaders borrowing from the future instead of having to balance
    a budget like she did, and she insisted she could have taught them a
    few things about economical spending.
       A lifetime of coupon clipping, sale seeking and selfsacrifice — so
    her family could have better opportunities than she had — shaped her
    self-sufficiency and enabled her to live comfortably without asking
    for help. She did so quietly, not wanting to burden her children, for
    whom she was always quick to offer help despite her limited resources,
    even to the end.
       They have lost a good listener, a loyal friend, a devoted
    seamstress and the personification of the book "The Giving Tree." The
    community has lost a tireless and savvy volunteer.
       An inveterate maker of lists, she could have easily been the face
    of the Post-it note had the fates found her at the right time. She put
    them to good use, as the refrigerator, desks and counter tops of her
    home still testify.
     
  5. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Well-Known Member

    The serenity prayer was her favorite. What she could change, she
    worked hard to do. What she could not, she offered to her God.
    She enjoyed sending a card in the mail to let you know she was
    thinking of you. Later, despite her initial doubts, she became
    comfortable with her computer and loved to send and receive emails.
    Helen appreciated the funny ones but really loved the spiritual and
    inspirational.
    If outraged by injustice she might utter "bull corn," and if
    someone angered her or threatened her children, she might think about
    sticking out her tongue at them. Of course, she would never actually
    do it.
    She enjoyed traveling with and to see her children. She was always
    taken by the mountains after living in the flatlands her entire life.
    She always wished she had a sister but gladly loved and cared for her
    brothers, who called her an inspiration.
    Helen joined Catholic Daughters of America decades ago, became an
    officer and sang with the St. Margaret choir for years. She loved
    music, and she often hummed her favorite songs or hymns. it is
    probably no coincidence she collected miniature angels and
    hummingbirds.
    She enjoyed the friendship and fun of a bowling league as a young
    adult and, later her Pokeno group. She loved to dance to Cajun music,
    work in her yard and watch sports, including those played by and
    written about by her son.
    She was an Eucharistic Minister at St. Margaret, a member of
    Caring Hearts Church Ministry and a Bible study group.
    She knelt beside her bed to pray throughout her life, and when she
    could no longer kneel or get out of her hospital bed, her children
    gathered next to her and prayed for her. They know heaven now rejoices
    and welcomes her.
    Visitation is from 1-10 p.m. Friday at Johnson Funeral Home in
    Lake Charles, including a rosary at 7 p.m. Further visitation is from
    9-10 a.m. Saturday, followed by a funeral procession to St. Margaret
    for Helen's special Mass at 11 a.m.
    In lieu of flowers, donations in her memory are encouraged to: St.
    Margaret Catholic School, 2510 Enterprise Blvd., Lake Charles, LA
    70601 or Aishel House Apartment Ministry, 1955 University Blvd.,
    Houston, TX 77030.
    A doctor at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Hospital, after reading
    Helen's chart a few weeks before her death, walked into her room to
    meet her for the first time and said, "You look so much better in
    person than you do on paper."
    If you have read this far, you should know the doctor's words are
    true with a depth and certainty that far exceed their intended
    context.
     
  6. Lugnuts

    Lugnuts Well-Known Member

    Wow - beautiful job.

    What a neat, neat special lady.
     
  7. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

    JD,

    Your mother and my mother would have been in the same grade in school. I think they would have been friends.

    ;)

    Writing those things is about the hardest thing you can do. But you wouldn't want anyone else to do it.
     
  8. writing irish

    writing irish Active Member

    I still have my mom, but the day my dad went to the big Irish pub in the sky still ranks as my worst day ever.  In fact, I was absoulutely saturated with grief for about a year.  The only way I pulled through was knowing that he wouldn't have wanted me to be immobilized by his loss...tried to honor his memory by keeping my shit together.

    Kick ass obit...she was lucky to have a son who would write that.  And you were lucky to have her, sounds like.  You were both blessed.  Peace.
     
  9. goalmouth

    goalmouth Well-Known Member

    Please accept my condolensces on your loss, it has been a difficult year. Your write-up is inspirational.
     
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