Corporal punishment

I don't think there is anything wrong with spanking. But it should be done by the parents and never should be done to try to hurt the child.

I am completely against anyone ever using an object to hit a kid. I don't see any purpose in that whatsoever.

Growing up, whenever my next-door-neighbor would fuck up, his dad would tell him to "go pick a belt" and would warn him that if he didn't pick an acceptable one, he'd go pick one himself and he "wouldn't want that to happen."

Kid was scared shitless of his father.

 

"I always picked the hammer. ... Because, 'Fuck him,' that's why." - "Good Will Hunting."

 

Love that movie.

 

I am, too. If you're going to cause physical pain, then you should be able to suck it up and have your hand hurt as well.

 

I don't get the notion that corporal punishment is OK when it's not done out of anger. Why else would you be doing it? Obviously the kid did something to make you mad. You're not hitting him or her because you're happy.

I have two little girls, and the thought of anyone hitting them, no matter what their misdeeds, is making me feel sick.

 

Was rambunctious as a boy. Parents never once hit me. Grew up, went to college, got a job, got married. Won't be hitting my kids either.

 

I'm a parent, I was spanked, I don't spank.

I don't think it's going to damage the kid if I do or anything, I just don't think it's particularly effective either. By the time they are old enough to make the connection between actions and consequences, they are old enough to understand other forms of punishment.

My parents slap my son (19 months) on the hand if he doesn't get it after a few nos. I don't love it, but I don't make a stink about it either.

 

And it should. Hitting them because you are angry would be abuse.

But a spank can be disciplinary tool as well, but it has to be a decision. And no, the kid probably won't know the difference. But you will.

The fear thing is a slippery slope. What about yelling? You think a little kid isn't going to be scared if a much larger parent stands over them and yells?

 

Yes. It is called "emotional abuse."

 

Didn't take long to prove my point.

 

My kids are always warned before they're spanked.

"Don't do that."
"I said don't do that."
"If you do that again, you're going to get a spanking."

That usually stops it. Sometimes it doesn't and you give them a little swat. It's never hard and if they're upset by it, it's because they're being told no and not because you did it hard.

We have neighbors who wouldn't spank their kids if their lives depended on it and they have the worst behaved kids I've ever seen.

 

I'm not against discipline. I've seen how kids without any discipline turn out. I'm not against stern discipline, either. Trust me, I'm not "that parent" who thinks their child can do no wrong and should never get a talking-to or a repurcussion for bad behavior.

What I do think is that emotion should be, to the extent it can be, removed from the exchange. We don't hit each other in our house and we don't yell at each other. I look at it like a boss-employee or teacher-student dynamic. When I was in middle school and high school, I remember being terrified of my French teacher, who never raised her voice or had an emotional reaction to anything we ever did. At the same time, you could hear a pin drop in her class. I respected the hell out of her.