Congratulations! Your life has been made into a sitcom...

Yourself (feel free to name yourself): James Van Der Beek.

Your spouse/partner/sig. other: Angie Harmon. I'm talking L&0 Texas-twang, convict-em-all-and-let-God-sort-em-out Angie Harmon.

Your boss: Alec Baldwin.

Your co-worker pal: Kevin Smith. Gotta talk movies with someone.

Your neighbor: Keifer Sutherland/Jack Bauer. I'm thinking there could be lively over-the-fence conversations a la "Home Improvement" each episode.

Wild card character (name relationship): Crispin Glover as the wacky mailman. Freak keeps kicking the damn mailbox and the Wired magazine always shows up stained with strawberry jelly.

 

HeyAbbott- which would be a great name for a sitcom
Your spouse/partner/sig. other: Tina Fey
Your boss: Rowan Atkinson
Your co-worker pal: Robert Downey Jr.
Your neighbor: Ron White
Wild card character (name relationship):Sarah Silverman, former sister-in-law, unemployed prostitute, recreational heroin user (a funny Amy Winehouse)

 

Completely fictional show and story, but here's my dream cast if I were to produce sitcom:

Yourself (feel free to name yourself): Seth Rogen
Your spouse/partner/sig. other: Halle Berry
Your boss: Steve Carell (or should I say Michael Scott)
Your co-worker pal: Paul Rudd
Your neighbor: Kevin Smith
Wild card character (name relationship): Hayden Panettiere as Kevin Smith's seductive daughter who always puts me in an awkward situation. Shia LaBeouf as my nervous high school pot dealer. Tom Cruise and Jane Lynch as my Aunt/Uncle who helped raise me, with Cruise as the town's mayor. Meanwhile Betty White is my alcoholic, crass grandmother and Bea Arthur as her heavily medicated, wise-cracking sidekick.

 

Yourself (feel free to name yourself): Me. No one could act out my life like I live it.
Your spouse/partner/sig. other: Sarah Silverman. I need someone to who can run a quick, give-and-take dialogue, often making fun of each other and those surrounding us.
Your boss: Dennis Haskins. He's a guy who would keep me in check for the most part, and that's really all you can ask of a sitcom boss.
Your co-worker pal: Mike O'Malley. Come on, now. He's the best. You don't want someone who'll top you every step of the way. You want someone who'll slow you down, make you feel superior and like a hero at times. Plus he's hilarious, and I'm not hanging around any dry, boring people.
Your neighbor: Nikki Cox. Because it's my sitcom.
Wild card character (name relationship): Rider Strong. Wearing his leather jacket, he tracks me down in our hometown bar after not hearing from me since high school graduation. He stole my girlfriend during junior year, and we stopped talking; we were good friends, too -- not the best, but good. Anyway, he feels bad about it now. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend, played by Jenny McCarthy, fell out of love with him halfway through college because she couldn't stop thinking of me. Every story had me in it, and every memory of me crept into their relationship in some way. Eventually, he had enough of it and broke up with her. (What he doesn't know is that we diddled each other a month after they split during Thanksgiving break -- at that same bar; it's OK: No one else was there ... just me, her and my video camera ... and Skittles. I like Skittled. A nickel!) Fast-forward a few years, and he wants desperately to make it up to me, so he tags around with me every once in a while, offers to pick up my dry cleaning ... you know the works. We get along OK, but it's not like before. But my wife likes him -- to a point. You see, Shawn (Rider's character), is a little overbearing. He means well, but he's good in small doses. Usually, my friends and I stick him with the bills and the blames to all of our zany adventures. It's complete hilarity and madness rolled into one.

Not that I think about this or anything. ...