Congratulations To The new Mom and, well, Mom.

You're right. I don't think I could do that.

However, I could find millions and millions and millions of kids who didn't have good fathers (and just as many who didn't have good mothers), and tell you that "the experience of having a father" is too often not all it's cracked up to be.

And at this point in time, I'd say there's at least as many kids who did not have (or are not having) good experiences with both parents as those who did. So there's a lot of people getting "cheated" ... to the point where I don't think it makes a difference anymore, as long as the parents are loving and supportive. ... Because there's too many kids who can't even get that, regardless of gender.

 

I agree with all that too, except the part about it not making a difference anymore.

 

Well, then, let me ask it differently: what are kids getting "cheated" out of, when arguably a majority of kids are being raised in so-called broken homes? What makes having a mother and a father still so sacrosanct, when most kids aren't getting that?

I would argue that having two loving mothers is a huge step up from what many, many kids are getting nowadays. So I don't see how it makes a difference, in real-life terms.

 

Pardon me for prying, but isn't your stepmother's partner your father? I think I need a program.

 

I should put a family tree up.

My father and my stepmother were married for 23 years. She's my stepmother. That woman he's married to is his wife not my stepmother (she hates me anyway).

After my father and stepmother got divorced, she came out, and her partner moved in.

Today's extended families -- becoming more and more confusing by the day.

 

*raises hand*

 

They are getting "cheated" out of the different things the separate sexes bring to parenting (e.g. a woman can't show a boy how a man should relate to a woman or to other men). And yes, I realize a lot of kids from broken homes are being "deprived" of that as well, but IMHO, it's worse when a conscious decision is made to deprive the children from the get go. That's when it steps up a level to "cheating" the kids. And I should add, I think the issues are more acute when children of the opposite sex (from the parent or parents) don't have a ubiquitous role model of the same sex. How many times have we heard men who get in trouble blame their woes on the fact they grew up without a father to show them how a man is supposed to act? Answer: constantly, and justifiably so.

I should also add that I'm not thrilled with the sperm donors either. They are complicit in the "cheating" as well.

Anyway, I'm baffled by IJAG's response that she is not grateful for having a good mother and a good father. That's just bizarre.

 

I would like to congratulate you, JackS, for evidently having lived a very normal, sheltered life. Many of us were not so lucky.

 

Two good moms or two good dads are just as good as one good mom and one good dad. FACT.

Find me evidence otherwise or you are just spouting of a belief based on nothing more than whimsical follies.

 

Of course, the Cheney attitude on parenting has been innovative, to say the least:
http://www.slate.com/id/2097365/

 

I grew up in a single-parrent household, and though my mother did get plenty of help of her family, it just wasn't the same. When I was a kid in the 80s, I saw my friends having fun with their fathers, the fathers coaching sports teams and the like. I never got the chance to have that kind of interaction because my dad decided he wanted to be somewhere else. It wasn't just his loss. It was mine as well and I didn't have a choice in the matter.

It's still my loss today because I'm the father of a bright, loving and affectionate two-year-old son, and there are times I'm wondering if how I'm parenting is right. Literally, I feel like I'm winging it and hoping I don't screw him up when he becomes a father in 25-30 years.