Confessions of a parenting failure

On a related note, when is the proper age for cell phone possession? I have a 10-year-old pushing for one. Her cousin got hers at 12 and that's the negotiating point. I originally was thinking I would hold off until she hit jr high (13), but starting next year sixth graders are being moved into the junior high.

 

Well, he told the kids he'd pay for the plan, which means he pays for the plan.
He said if the kids were responsible for overages, they had to pay the overages.
When the parents cause the overages, they pay the overages?
Not hard to understand.

 

I agree with Alma.

 

Or, you know, they might be using the phones and laptops to do their homework. If I would have had a webcam in HS, it might have been easier to do projects in high school. There were a couple of times where I ended up having to go to someone's house (we lived in the country so they never came out to my place) at 11 at night, trying to get group homework finished up.

There are some positives to kids having cell phones, ESPECIALLY if they're driving. You don't want your teenager driving around, especially with winter coming, without some way to call someone if they have car trouble. Yes, they may misuse the privilege of having a cell phone, but I wouldn't want to drive around during bad weather without a phone.

 

From my understanding, kids never got in trouble before cell phones.

 

I was 33 when I got my first cell phone. Sounds about right.

 

I didn't say anything about computers, although they're vastly overrated, too.

Define irony: The kid who calls you on his cell phone because he got in an accident during bad weather, while neglecting to tell you he got in the accident because he was distracted by his cell phone.

 

I sent/received over 12,000 texts last month. Crazy, I know.

 

I got prepaids for my kids years ago - I would buy them a $20 card every three months (or whatever the length was, I don't even remember now.) If they used up their minutes beforehand, then they had to use their babysitting, allowance, lawnmowing money to buy more.

When I added them to my plan two years ago, I have yet to have any problems with them going over our minutes. (Knock on wood.)

While I can understand where those who think kids having cell phones is ridiculous, uncalled for, etc., - I was once in that camp - just remember there are two sides to every story.

I live in the boonies. That my kids can call or text me when they are a half hour away from school coming back from an activity is nice. BC (before cell) there were times I was waiting at the school for an hour, hour and a half waiting for the bus because a game ran late or in one case, the bus broke down on the way back. (The closest away game is a half hour away.) That their friends can call their cells for group school assignments and not tie up the house phone (which doubles as a business phone) is also important.

Are there kids who abuse their phones? You better believe it. One thing I always told my kids is I pay for that phone, so it is mine and I better not ever find something on it that shouldn't be there. Haven't had to take them away for that. But sadly, there are too many parents who don't get that. And they may be young adults now, but as long as the kids are on my plan, the same rule applies, I don't care if I'm paying or they're paying.

I was covering a thing last year where an investigator spoke to high school students - he went to each school in the county - about sexting. There were lots of kids whose eyes got huge when the investigator told them that same thing I've always told my kids: "There better not be anything on that phone you wouldn't want your parents seeing."

It's really easy for adults to tsk, tsk about those rotten, irresponsible teens, but if we as parents aren't teaching them, then we are the irresponsible ones. And if we don't discipline them after they break the rules, we are even that much more irresponsible.

 

couldn't disagree more on this pro argument for our youngin's to have a cellphone with them in the car in case they break down or get lost late at night. i'm much more concerned about them getting into an accident because they're on the phone than i am about them not having a phone because they might need to call for help if they break down late at night with nowhere to find a phone.

please. how many times have you heard of anyone breaking down in the middle of nowhere in the wee hours with zero access to a land line? or heard of someone being attacked by a driver passing by with the intent of doing them harm?

only on a show like "csi" or "criminal minds" is this scenario painted as an every-day occurence.

but i damn well have heard of or know a teenaged driver -- a driver of any age, really -- getting into an accident while doing something with that damn phone. sadly, my sons have long been lectured about all the dangers driving entails because of my own experience with someone killed in an car accident (not cell phone related; it was 25 years ago).

but i am as confident as anyone could be (never say never) that my eldest son does not use his cell phone while driving. he doesn't even keep it on. is it comforting to know he has the cell in case of a driving emergency? i suppose to some extent, although if he didn't i'd also be confident a passerby would have one, or a nearby house or store/restaurant or gas station.

but from what i understand, and the statistics back up, far more road deaths involve cell-phone use than stranded drivers being attacked by strangers.

 

Agreed. A couple months ago we met up with some extended family for a long weekend gathering. We're sitting around the pool at the hotel, while my nephew was working on his laptop on homework. He's a sophomore in HS, and he was going on and on about all the AP classes he's in and how he has 5 hours of homework for every day of class, how hard they work him, how it's just like college, how he never has time to do anything because he's always chained to his laptop doing homework, etc.

As he's going on about all this, one of his cousins happens to walk behind him to grab a towel, looks over his shoulder at the computer and says, "Wow, what kind of solitaire is that?" The kid's parents were sitting across from him at a poolside table, and the mom says, "Freeze" and walks around the table to look at the computer and sees he has 4 tabs up on the desktop: the solitaire game, Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. Things got a little frosty around the pool then, especially for the kid who spent most of the weekend telling everyone how he does nothing but homework and schoolwork, pretty much 24/7.

Kids are going to be kids and make mistakes and push their limits. Then the parents crack the whip (hopefully) and get them back into line. It's been like that since the dawn of time.

 

Seems like you're a worst-case scenario type when it comes to cell phones.

Didn't you say on the other thread that kids need cell phone access at school in case Columbine breaks out that day?